"I've been taking my son to the gym with me since he was 10. He recently turned 14. While he's built some muscle there is no evidence of his body maturing. No widening of the shoulders. He's still looking like a string bean. But most important there's no body hair, his dick is still quite small and his nuts are hardly noticable. On the drive home from the gym tonight I took the opportunity to ask him if he'd been masturbating. He got all flustered, but once I told him it was okay and it was important for him to tell me the truth, he said "No." He says his dick never stands up like mine. (He's seen my morning boners.)
So, here's my question. Is he just a late bloomer, or is there something else going on here?"
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I've heard of "late bloomers" but he should be showing signs of maturing by now. His balls should be getting larger; his cock, too. And at least small patches of pubic hair should be showing on either side at the base of his cock.
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Lack of erections is 'nothing to sneeze about,' as the saying goes. And, at his age, he should be starting to tear through the cumrags like no other time in his life. I'd say it's definitely time to see his pediatrician.
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One thing to consider between now and getting to the doctor: What kind of foods/milk have you been giving him? If the answer is Soy anything, that could be part of the problem. Soy is chock full of estrogen. It has been linked to the development of breasts in males, from pubescent teens to men in their 50s. It is also theorized to be a link to the increase in male breast cancer.
His physician should refer you to an Endocrinologist for further testing. Because that second wave of testosterone should have been washing over him by now. He should be experiencing boners galore, and wet dreams if he isn't jacking off. You need to get your son on the right set of rails here, or it could spell trouble down the road: The inability to produce swimmers, the inability to get decent boners, and the inability to cum.
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And, that would be a damn shame.
Some of my Faithful Readers might be able to offer some wisdom.
Readers?
21 comments:
my suggestion is: wait for a year!
I have nothing to add to the good advice already offered here. But I want to say DAMN GOOD JOB to the dad who noticed, and who talked with his son about very important (but difficult to discuss) issues. Well done, sir! Your boy is a lucky son.
There's some good info here about late onset puberty in boys that you might find useful
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/puberty/Pages/Delayed-Puberty.aspx
Good points! (I've heard that about soy so I avoid it as much as possible.)
Hi,
To help here, I can tell you about my «late blooming» story.
I've always been the smallest and without hair till I turned 18yo.
I had a teenage time quite hard because of it but never complain.
Even in university when I was between 21 and 24yo, I had issues getting in pubs or bars because I was totally hairless, no beard and I looked like a 15yo kid. I could be a twink if in 1970's the word existed.
So, be patient for your boy, nature and hormones will be working but as I a bit later than the average.
I was married at 27yo, had 3 kids and my sex life was quite normal.
I'm now divorced since 1999 and living my full gay life normally and without any problem of coming out done.
Take care and be there for your kid.
The "young man" most certainly needs to see a doctor and most probably a specialist. So your advice is certainly correct. By 14, given the opportunity, I could "jack-off" two or three times a day! Trust your weather is improving and that you have a good weekend.
I think you said it all. I cock and balls were filled out by 11 12 and I was jacking off like crazy by 13. He should take yoir advice.
HOPE everyone has a great weekend!
"It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma; but perhaps there is a key." (Winston Churchill, October 1939)
As its name indicates it, the puberty starts with the growth of the pubic hairs which goes along with an increase of the testicular volume.
The childhood, period of the carefreeness, ends earlier and earlier. There is no reason for being delighted of this bad news, quite the opposite. And obviously less reasons to worry when the puberty comes later.
We cannot wonder if we are in front of a delayed puberty before the age of 16 years, and it's even quite normal if he starts his growth spurt after this age. It is not the puberty of the son that is late, it is the fears of his father which are premature.
I would agree with what you say, my dear Pat, a) with pleasure, but b) only if the boy was three years older.
Love, hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
First, I feel bad for the kid. He is probably embarrassed and self conscious because of his lack of development. He sees all the other guys becoming men and is wondering what's going on with him.
Second, good for the Dad for noticing and starting the conversation. You'll want to be really careful when you tell the boy you're taking him to the doctor. Assure him everything will be ok, we just need to check some things out. Be as vague or specific as you think you need to be. He's your son so you know him best.
All the best to you both.
I would definitely get doctors involved. He could be just a very late bloomer, I guess but I think now is the time to seek medical advice. Sorry I haven't been around - I'm trying to find a new normal routine. My folks continue to improve. I wish you a fabulous bonerific weekend, bro. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
No kid will tell their parent on first ask that they jerk off. They will lie straight to your face. Especially one at 14. At 14 they are trying to figure things out for themselves.
Instead of looking if your child is becoming a yeti or not take a proper look at his balls. Has his balls dropped? By 14 they should have already descended. Un-descended testicles if left too late can cause alot of problems.
Now build; males don't always take all their genetic material from their biological father. The build of the son may source more from the mothers genetic pool. Just because you birthed a male does not mean that son will take on all your genetic material. Males usually don't start filling out their frame until much later in puberty.
An area of concern though is the child being in the gym from the age of 10.. That would probably be the biggest warning sign that father has put through. Gym is absolutely no place for a child; let alone one that hasn't hit puberty yet. Who the hell advised the father that would be a good idea? I can understand how it can happen but that is something that can cause more harm than good and parents don't realize until the damage is done.
There are processes that happen in a child's brain before puberty happens. If these processes are interrupted it can adversely affect your child's later development. Puberty in some cases may not happen. Cognitive abilities may take longer to develop. Rate of maturity will take longer. Puberty may happen much later than normal. From 8-12 is when a child's brain starts managing the chemical balance within the body by itself. The later in that cycle it starts the process of managing testosterone and estrogen levels within the body before it begins puberty.
Surely someone pulled the father aside and said your kid cant be here? The earliest I would have a child in the gym would be 16. Anything before that and too many things can go wrong.
There’s no mention of his mother, they’re usually the ones involved in taking them to the doctor for annual check ups and something the doctors look for in these visits. The adults all should be talking to each other. Happy Weekend! Hugs and bisous.
I felt compelled to respond to your reply today to the father who is concerned about his (just turned) 14 year old son's physical development. His son's cock and balls are still boy-like, he has no pubic hair, and the son claims that he hasn't jacked off yet. Since you're not a doctor, your alarmist reply to the father only added fear and worry to the mix as if there definitely is something wrong with the son. I believe that both you and the father are judging the son's development by your own and your knee-jerk reaction to take him to this and that doctor is shortsighted. (I also very much doubt that the son consumes vast quantities of soy, which is what it would take for him to grow breasts and be sexually underdeveloped because of the estrogen content.)
By rushing the son off to doctors to be "tested," the boy will only feel as if he's some sort of freak, which in turn will affect his self-esteem and self-image. I'm sure others will mention this to you as well, but all boys develop differently and at different ages, and yes, I do believe the son is simply a "late bloomer." When I was the son's age and entering puberty, everything about my body seemed underdeveloped and inadequate and wet dreams were all I experienced sexually, but by the age of 15, I suddenly had the distinction of being the hairiest, most "developed" boy (cock-wise) and I can still remember the stares I got in my school locker room. I also remember certain friends, as well as other boys in the locker room, who hadn't yet sexually developed by 15 and even older, but still eventually did. One teen friend, who was 16 at the time, had such a small, faint amount of peach fuzz around his cock that I asked him if he shaved the area. I only succeeded in unintentionally embarrassing him when he told me he hadn't. (When I sucked his dick the day after our high school graduation ceremony, I discovered he had acquired a very nice, fluffy bush.)
As far as the jacking goes, the son may have simply told his father he didn't masturbate because the subject made him feel embarrassed and self-concious, especially coming from his father. How many just-turned-14 year old boys will discuss, much less admit, such a thing to their fathers? No wonder the son became flustered. He may have told his father he didn't jack just to drop the subject. If the father takes your advice and insists on taking the son to a doctor, he should carefully and sensitively run it by the son first and ask how he feels about it or if he has any objections to being checked. It's one thing to be medically concerned about the son's health, but another to make a major issue out of something that will only make the son feel like something's wrong with him sexually. - Gregg
Gregg's comments are very well stated. I think it may be a little early to go to the doctor. Guys develop at different ages. I remember the variety of guys in the locker room when I was a teenager and some were looking like men and some were still smooth and had not come into their own yet. I think the father should just continue to monitor the situation for another six months to a year and then possibly take him to the doctor. He is probably a late bloomer like the post says.
Yes watch the soy intake, also to much sugar will cause big problems, stay off sugar and the body will normalize, if over weight you will lose weight, if your under weight you will gain weight, proper insulin levels is absolutely vital for muscle growth, to much sugar will keep your insulin levels to high, also to much masterbation will throw all hormones levels out of wack, insulin is a hormone. To much sugar lowers testosterone levels/
Whack....I apologize for not having commented for a while. Thanks for your comments on my blog site the treasure trail.
This is an interesting topic. I'm an old guy. What I am dealing with and tying to understand is the cessation of sex. A good from of my family was physically repressed. He was ver short and not developed pubic or body until high school. Once the time came he sprouted up in every way!
I wish you'd also talk what happens to men as they grow older!
As always you've got the greatest blog
Thanks, Mark
that does sound somewhat concerning. I hope everything turns out fine for you kid. Please keep us posted.
A friends son was 16 and still looked like he was 10 and was bullied a lot in high school. Now in collage he is 6'5" and the tallest person in his family. Just keep the lines of communication open so he does not feel alone.
@ Gary - Thanks for the link! It should help this man help his son. I probably should have placed more emphasis on his son's admittance that he doesn't get adequate erections...but delayed puberty is the crux, I guess.
@ Jean - Good point. I wonder if the doctor even said anything to a mother, or if she simply decided it wasn't a problem. Maybe this father should be questioning his wife about previous dr. visits.
I'd go to the pediatrician before doing anything.
TBH, phytoestrogens are this century's L-tryptophan. (For those unfamiliar, they used to say L-tryptophan made you tired after a Thanksgiving meal, when, like all amino acids, it's nearly everywhere. In reality, the insulin rush of 3000+ kilocalories has more to do with it.)
Can't say much otherwise, except I was precocious (started shooting semen at 9) and hair was the one place where I was really late: I got my first pubic hair just a couple months before turning 15, facial hair at 20, and really, other body hair just didn't show up.
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