Wednesday, May 16, 2018

He's Looking For a Response

"Here's one for you and your readers. After almost 9 years and two kids it seems my wife isn't very interested in sex any more. I wanted spicwe things up and give her a Mothers day gift she wouldn't forget. Over a few weeks I put on my sexiest jeans and started making a film. I took my time,, got a good bulge and teased as I undressed. The actual jerking off was slow and as sensuous as I could make it. I thought it turned out pretty good. it was wierd editing the peices together but it was really hot filming myself - it gave me a huge boner and the cum shots were over the top. I bought her a brand new vibrator, wrapped it up and put in the drawer next to her old one which didn't work anymore I know i tried it. On Mothers Day, I put a bow on the drawer, plugged in the flash drive to the tv in the bedroom, cued it up and taped a note on the screen that said play me. Then I took the kids out for the afternnon and told her to have a really nice day. I thought she'd like it because she doesn't delete her history so I  know she watches those Legend Men solos all the time. and subscribes to Playgirl online.
It turned out to be a huge kick in the nuts. I know i'm not Chris Hemasworth but I'm in decent shape and even if I do say so myself I have a pretty nice dick. I got home and she said it was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever seen. How do I respond to that? I mean WTF?"

One of the worst things a woman can do to a naked man is point at this cock and laugh. And that is essentially what she's done. It's enough to "knock your dick in the dirt" as the saying goes. If you're angry, I can't say I blame you. But anger won't solve anything.
Even if one doesn't particularly enjoy a gift it is proper to be gracious. Ridiculing you for the effort was not gracious. A kinder response would've been to say, "Thank you, honey. It was lovely, but lets not do that again, okay? What if the kids got hold of it?"

I wish I had an answer for you.
Readers: Can you offer any suggestions?


Anonymous said...

I'd seriously think about divorce, I wouldn't care to have sex with someone who no longer cared to have sex with me, or see if you two would like to be single on your own swingers.

SickoRicko said...

Quite the bummer! I'd be more hurt than angry. Other than that, I got nuthin'.

AOM SoulFood said...

My first instinct was to slap her. My second and better instinct is for the husband to open up and let his wife know just how much she hurt his feelings - he was trying to do something nice for her and she ridiculed him for it. It would be easy for anyone to hold a grudge but that is counter-productive and unhealthy. Seems like a dose of forgiveness and honesty is in order here. Not easy - but healthier. Perhaps she didn't realize that the gift was given in a serious manner. I hope it works out for them and perhaps through talking it out, things will get better in their life together.

Wishing you a delicious jizz-a-licious day, bro. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM

Xersex said...

probably he made a mistake, but he should tell his wife why he felt him "pushed" there!!!

mistress maddie said...

I myself would find that hot. Dear Reader send me the video and I'll be the judge!!!!

I know it hard but I wouldn't take it personally. Some people watch these video and the hottest of men to escape into fantasy. So when they see someone they know personally, it take the fantasy segment away. People seems to react two ways. Either like it, or like this guys wife, laugh or find it silly. I did one for my ex, and he always used it for jack material when I was away...both we were both pigs.

Patrick said...

Sorry! Can't help there! Reminds me of the time I was staying with a gay friend - decided to prepare and serve the evening meal nude! Got no response at all!!!

A French Patrick said...

So many efforts for such a mediocre result, it is disheartening. He would maybe have had to speak to her about his project before. It would have avoided him to waste his time and his efforts for nothing. Maybe he overestimates his sex appeal? He would have better done by looking for what could excite his wife rather than what he found exciting for him to do. She is right, it was ridiculous and excessive.

My little finger tells me that instead of offering all this to his wife, it would have better made by trying to get it offered to him by her for the Father's Day. In the worst hypothesis they would not have wasted their time neither of them.

In a couple, the more there is of power to say yes or no, to be able to accept that the other one is not at our rhythm, the more the desire circulates but on the condition of finding moments when we are on the same wavelength.

Love, hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.

Tex said...

If she watches male solo masturbation videos and subscribes to Playgirl I assume she's getting some sexual gratification. I'm sorry to say this but it appears the problem here is not that she doesn't want to have sex, the problem is that she doesn't want to have sex with her husband.

He put a lot of thought and effort into this and I really want to tell him how awesome that is. Her response was rude and I'm afraid tells him what she thinks of him.

Adam said...

I'm not defending her action, it seems harsh. But sometimes a partner engages with porn (such as her Playgirl habit) to escape from reality. Maybe her fantasies are focused on images other than the steady but ordinary partner who is the father of her children. So I say bravo for the great filmmaking effort which you got to enjoy making. I hope she can see the thoughtfulness of your effort. You're commended for adding some "vibe" to her dresser drawer, too.

Jean WM said...

I have heard similar feedback from women friends I have. (I credit Pat’s Blog for helping me understand men a lot better.) Sorry but women think very differently.

That said, the fellow should definitely get an A+ for effort, and I’m a little bit surprised that even if the woman wasn’t excited with what she saw, she should have rewarded him for putting this together. Good lesson here, the result might not be appealing but there are times people can put so much time and effort into something you need to recognize them for that. The wife sure missed a big opportunity.

Fullmoonma said...

I'm no expert on female eroticism, but I've noticed that as soon as my cock gets hard my consciousness shifts radically into a mode where cock is very compelling. You hoped your jo video would have performed this transformation for her, but if she wasn't in an erotic or receptive state when she started viewing it's easy to understand her reaction. I'd suggest non-genital sensual touch or massage, keeping your penis out of sight. Maybe a visit to a spa for a soak together? Things you can both take enjoyment with.

that one guy said...

I agree with most of the comments already posted:

• I'd love to see the video! It was a lovely gesture and it sounds hot AF!
• Your wife's reaction was deeply unkind, whether she intended it to be or not.
• To me, this sounds like someone emphatically closing the door on sex, forever. Maybe she will change her mind, maybe not.

With that in mind, I don't know if I agree about considering divorce, but I will relay Dan Savage's advice to people who decide to remain in a loveless and/or sexless marriage: do what you have to do to stay sane. Going without sex for the rest of one's life is not something any person should be asked to do against their will. Whether it's internet porn, or the occasional "happy ending" massage, or a jerk-off-with-a-friend arrangement, (male or female) --- whatever you need to do and still be able to live with your spouse and yourself, give yourself permission to do it.

Be responsible so you don't contract or transmit any STDs, and avoid risky/ illegal activities that could result in public disgrace; but don't try to bury your sex drive because it won't stay buried. And the harder you try to keep it buried, the more distorted form it will take when (not if) it finally forces its way to the surface. (I actually have personal experience of this: jerking off on Chaturbate is a lot safer than the anonymous cock sucking I used to do in adult bookstores, and it enables me to stay sane and stay married.)

R Rad said...

Rewire her vibrator for 220v?

T said...

Should have gauged the situation a little better before hand. People look at porn for different reasons. The wife probably looks at it as pure fantasy; something that would never happen. Now that the husband has gone out and done it its probably taken the fantasy away abit for her.

Over what has been put forward the issue lies more with the male. You went in expecting something in return. Women are very quick to pick up on that. Selfless and selfish. When giving a gift its meant to be selfless (dont expect anything back). When you give a gift and expect something in return thats when it becomes selfish.

The issues with sex in that relationship; whacking off on camera wont magically fix it. Communication will work on that not the actual deed itself.