"I'm a massage therapist and have thankfully retained the majority of my clients through the pandemic when so many people are filled with anxiety. My dad asked me if it's true that a lot of men get hard-ons and I answered truthfully. Then he asked if I provided them with happy endings. I was very hesitant at first but finally did admit that "for some" He booked a massage and got a raging hard-on and I did my best to ignore it. Later he said it was a good massage and booked another but he was disappointed I didn't "help him out" If he gets hard, should I accommodate him?"
I think it was good to admit to the facts of life: Some guys get boners during a massage. I always did in the past, and sometimes still do. That you were honest about the happy endings was commendable. But the way you tell it, it felt like a bit of a trap. I've never asked, btw, and don't think it should be expected. Asking and offering to pay extra, or offering if a client will pay extra, is why it's considered prostitution and illegal.
Others have acknowledged it, but didn't touch it. A few - like my current one - have taken me in hand and I've always, always appreciated it. With my Muscular Dystrophy, the ejaculation can help me be symptom-free for a few days. So, for me, anyway, a massage isn't fully complete without one. It releases every last ounce of tension.
19 comments:
I have been on both sides of the coin. I love a good deep massage and usually have gone once a season for one. The only time I have get the happy ending is with guys that have been masseurs out of their studios.. But after a 90 minute massage, and they grasp your hard dick, where all the sensation seems to have went.... and then finally the ending, it truly does feel wonderful, and I'm so relaxed after, its insane. They generally let me lie there till I'm ready to get up.
I can't take it any longer and have booked a full body massage for after the New Year as a gift to myself, This will be a new guy for me, as the last one I had for years, moved away. I really need a good long spa day to for the works,,,but Ill have to wait on that.
So glad I do not live in the same world as the writer of today's letter. In the words of the immortal Phoebe Buffay: Eww. And. NO.
I think because the father asked those questions that he was hoping for the happy ending. Because the son didn't oblige should have told the father something.
Personally, I would be uncomfortable beating off my father. I saw him naked many times and we showered together when I was young. I even saw him with a chub a few times but I never thought about a JO with him.
My massage therapist always sees to a happy ending with me. Never had to ask or pay extra. I was surprised the first time and he asked if it was okay. He says it's part of the massage and if a guy gets a erection, he probably needs the release.
I've never been a masseur or massaged, but if one asks for the happy ending, why not?
If he “relieves” his clients as a practitioner, he should do so for everyone who wants it, father included. If he does it when the guy pleases him and finds his pleasure in it, it ends there. Regarding his father, he just has to ask him the question.
Who is better than the two of them to know and to express their respective thoughts?
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
I have never had a massage from a guy. I've gotten two from women and all I've been is super relaxed and ready to fall asleep. Did not get a boner with either.
I wonder if that'd be different if I had a massage from a guy? My one friends SWEARS by his massage therapist and even though he's never said he's gotten a happy ending, I suspect that may have happened? More power to them. I imagine that needs to be arranged beforehand...
Ok, on to this: "With my Muscular Dystrophy, the ejaculation can help me be symptom-free for a few days." so a good massage and cumming can help you?
XOXO
I think this is a matter of how you both feel about it. I don't think there is any way to separate Dad from client so its something you both have to be ok with. A short conversation about expectations and feelings would be due in my opinion. If, after that, its cool, then do it.
It would be interesting to know if anybody ever objected. Otherwise if the masseuse was comfortable, it would go in the category of customer services. And a way to get faithful clients. hugs and bisous.
Hmm... the dad asks about happy endings, makes an appt., and is disappointed when there was not the "extra help." Sounds like he made an appointment for sex, not the massage, and in my opinion I find it disrespectful to the son and the profession. Plus how will it affect their relationship in the aftermath?
I can understand how awkward it must have been for the masseur because this was his dad, but, as dad had already specifically asked that question beforehand, i'd say go ahead and "give him a hand" to help him out.
One time when i had a new masseur i apologised that my dick had gone hard. He didn't touch my cock or balls at all, but did reply that he regards it as a compliment that he was giving me a good massage and indicated i was really relaxed.
@ Six - Yes, it does. I told the current masseur about the M.D. and I think that might be why he took things in hand. He made me cum harder and more than I had in almost a year. Voila! No cramping anywhere for three entire days. I can't wait to go back once I've had the vaccine.
@ Mistress - I hope this one takes perfect care of you. Of course, I will be curious and waiting for you to let me know how he does.
@ Jean - Customer Services; exactly.
@ Frank - That is the way it should be done - at least the first time. They notice the boner, then ask at the end if there was anything you didn't like about the massage. It's been my thought that if a guy didn't like it, he would say so as soon as the masseur brushes up against the erection. And, it doesn't have to be nasty - just a gentle, "I'd prefer you avoid that."
I find it appalling that we manipulate human behaviour simply to control commercial enterprises: the desire to force prostitutes to pay tax is one of the reasons the profession is so restricted and it has aided in creating a situation where giving a fellow man a hand is technically illegal in many areas unless one is registered as a prostitute.
Frankly, I don't believe it is anyone's business what consenting adults do in private, but economic laws are shaping what people are allowed to do. It also creates an awkward situation where men find it difficult to ask for, or offer, to give a hand in a commercial situation such as massage.
Our history of homophobia has also made it difficult for men to help each other out openly, even though it is not necessarily a homosexual thing (homosexuality being more about the innate emotional and sexual attraction to men of some men, rather than men having sex with men). Fundamentally I believe men are able to express their sexuality with both men and women if it wasn't for taboos and homophobia supported by economic laws, encouraging otherwise.
I wish it were otherwise and men could feel comfortable openly asking for and offering sexual relief. As it currently is, men have to skirt around the issue and be very careful with asking for or offering sexual interaction.
As for the Father trying to find a way to ask his son for sexual relief (and ignoring any legal repercussions), I find it sad that it wasn't possible for him to openly ask and have it given. Unfortunately our taboos against incest are also freezing situations where male to male sexual interaction would otherwise not be a problem (ie consenting adults). If the masseur is prepared to offer a hand to customers, then his Dad is no different to one of those customers and there should be no reluctance to do so, otherwise it is discrimination for other reasons that need to be addressed by the masseur.
Perhaps my homosexuality is biasing my perspective, however from what I have seen on playing fields and in interactions between men, sex is simply an extension of the connection possible between men that has been downgraded and villified, for reasons lost in time, that no longer seem as relevant. Biology creates a basic template that drives us, but I believe we are a combination of nature and nurture and have the potential to be far more flexible than we are.
We seem to think of men having sex with men as just sexual relief in some bizarre attempt to eradicate any connection with feelings and emotion, however I believe there is a spectrum that all men can inhabit, from unemotional sexual relief to deeply intimate sexual relationships with other men and with women: it's just that they haven't been allowed to explore most of that spectrum for so long.
I feel sorry for the Father who tried to reach out to his son for sexual relief and was rebuffed. I hope the masseur son reconsiders the situation and is courageous enough to explore a deeper connection with his Dad by removing the commercial element (and thus any legal impediments) and openly offering to help him out: one man to another.
whkattk said:
"Should you accommodate him next time? If you are both okay with it and you don't feel coerced, and an extra fee isn't discussed..."
I don't feel that simply asking for what we want should be considered coercion unless accompanied by threats or force, although the feminist movement trajectory would make asking for sex coercion. The problem is that we have made it very difficult for men to ask for what they want without fear or favour, and so they skirt around the issue and obfuscate the request, introducing confusion and mixed messages.
The masseur and his Father are going to find it very awkward negotiating something that neither are prepared to speak about openly in a commercial situation.
I think this would be an ideal opportunity for the masseur to engage with his Dad man to man and son to Father outside of the commercial constraints of the business and develop a bond. I am curious why the masseur is treating his Father like a customer and is not concerned why his Dad is having to seek relief in this way. Have we become so commercialised that loved ones are only seen as business opportunities?
I can't imagine the courage it took for the Father to approach his son for sexual relief, given the ongoing climate of taboos and homophobia. It really should be seen as a request for a helping hand and it infuriates me how the male sexual drive has become so constrained by commercial interests.
Anyway, I wish them the best in their next encounter.
@ Anon - My dad DIDN'T ask if I would give HIM a hand. Asking if I do it for clients is not letting me know he was ok with me doing it for him. Just because he got a hard-on that first time which is really common was not enough of a signal for me to move forward. Then he asked if I would do it the next time. I wanted to know what others might think of the situation considering it is my father looking for the release. Seems most think its okay so when he comes in if he gets hard I'll take care of him the same way I do for some of my other clients.
@ Anon 18 Dec 6:31 AM - you are right your Dad didn't ask directly if you would give him a hand, however when you said "Later he said it was a good massage and booked another but he was disappointed I didn't "help him out"" it implies that he wanted a hand but couldn't ask. Then when you say in your response to me "Then he asked if I would do it the next time." it seems like a clear request, unless I have misinterpreted what you said.
The whole point of my post was about the general inability of men to ask for or offer a helping hand. It's more personal in your case of course since he is family, but the other part of my post related to the still prevailing taboos against incest, even though the circumstances originally giving rise to incest taboo are not relevant in this situation (consenting adults, no chance of offspring).
Of course you need to be comfortable giving your Dad a hand, but consider why you do it for other men and ask yourself why your Dad would be less deserving of that attention.
Laws make it all very complicated, but I can't see how making it clear that it is not part of the massage and there is no payment involved, that you can legally openly offer to give a hand between 2 consenting adults if that is desired. By making the offer and any acceptance upfront, it removes issues over consent and both parties know where they stand, whilst letting the customer off the hook of awkwardly having to test the water before asking.
I also want to touch on another aspect of giving a hand and that is relating to the offer being conditional on an erection. There are many men who would welcome sexual relief but have difficulty getting an erection, so making an erection a condition excludes them. I'm not saying you should offer every man a hand, but I am interested in how you decide who should receive the bonus. By making an offer upfront, you give the recipient the opportunity to accept regardless of their physical state and perhaps benefit. Of course it is ultimately up to you who you interact sexually with as it is not part of a commercial service but a personal interaction.
I don't mean to offend, however I often see things differently than most and thus it often tends to create a conflict with held beliefs.
I do hope your next encounter with your Dad goes well for both of you.
If it were my Dad, I would be curious about why he had to turn to me for sexual relief and was not currently accommodated in that need, because I care about him. There is an interesting French movie called "Sexual Chronicles of a French Family" that makes a point about caring about the sexual lives of family members as we do about their health. Trust the French to make an X-rated mainstream movie that is somewhat educational (albeit not spending much time on homosexuality).
@ Anon - I'm not offended at all. I think you may be reading more into the situation than is actually there. Like any other client if he gets hard, it'll be an honor to help him like any other client. If he doesn't get a hard-on then I certainly won't purposely touch his dick to get him hard just to get him off. He's widowed and his only release is masturbation but that doesn't give me the right to assume it's okay to deliberately masturbate him during a massage if it doesn't happen in a natural organic way. That's how I handle all my male clients.
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