Dad Has "The Talk"

This was waiting in my email inbox this morning.

"you should be concerned about why he was upset. Those words set off alarm bells as soon as I read them. I sent a text message to both sons telling them there would be a pow-wow Saturday morning as soon as chores were done. My oldest had already made plans with his friends and I made him cancel.
I admit it was tough getting started. I asked son #2 (I like those references) why he got so upset his first morning here when I woke him up for school. Was there a problem I should know about about. Just like a kid he got all red in the face and looked down at the floor. I asked if it was because I saw his erection. Son #1 piped up to tell me his brother knew "boner" and I could say boner if I wanted to.
It turns out his mother threw such a hissy-fit after catching Son #1. She actually told the youngest it was dirty and terrible and he should never touch himself and make it hard. When I woke him up he was afraid I'd be mad and accuse him of "playing down there." Oh, man was I pissed. I took a deep breath and I told him his mother was full of shit.
I have to thank you for dedicating the entire week to this issue. It went easier than I expected. But it took a lot longer than I expected because we talked about everything. Boners, whacking off, I mean everything. The oldest contributed a lot actually to answer his brother's questions. And did he ever have questions. He wanted to know everything about his dick from pre-cum to shooting the load.
The one thing we were able to skip was being naked. I've been naked around my sons for as long as I can remember. I don't know if they've ever seen me with a hard-on, maybe a semi getting out of the shower but they've never said anything. They're comfortable being nude, too. I gave the youngest very strict instructions to stop wearing shorts to sleep so we're all sleeping nude now, too.
Sorry this is a lot longer than I planned and I could go on with more, but suffice it to say that the three of us thank you for your understanding and encouragement. If there are any fathers out there following your blog they need to swallow hard, take a deep breath and just start talking. It's surprising how easy it is once the conversation gets rolling."

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I'm very glad things went well. I hoped (knew) they would. Now your sons won't be afraid to come to you when they have questions, or if they have problems with the equipment.

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Bravo, Dad!

And, a great big thank you to all of my Faithful Readers for chipping in with suggestions over the months as this saga unfolded.
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Happy Hallowe'en to all my Faithful Readers! I hope you will get a treat to enjoy.

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Common Ground Five

Well, Dad, I hope this week of posts has gotten you to think, has helped you in figuring out what to say and, perhaps, how to say it. You've got a lot of work ahead of you, but it can be accomplished over time. First and foremost is getting both of your sons to understand that they've got nothing they shouldn't have.

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Nature provided what is there. There is no reason whatsoever they should be ashamed of the equipment between their legs, because every male has the same with only slight variations. Your sons should never be afraid to be naked in front of each other, you, or any other guy. (Well, they shouldn't be ashamed in front of any woman, either - in the proper setting.)

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If you haven't already, you might begin - slowly - introducing casual nudity in your house.

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And that boners happen.

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The more comfortable they are being naked (even with a boner) in the home environment, the less trouble they'll have if and when they're in a locker room.

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Because son #2 expressed concern about you seeing his morning log, you should be concerned about why he was upset. So, the other important thing for a first discussion is the normal functioning. Let him know how familiar you are with morning wood.

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Son #1 needs to be able to jack off with impunity. It's his bedroom, too. So, the discussion needs to include masturbation. It's normal, it's natural, it's healthy. Neither one of them should have to hide it from the other,

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Nor should they have to hide it from you. They shouldn't feel embarrassed if you happen upon them, 

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none of you should feel embarrassed if they happen upon you.

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Because it all really is common ground.

I hope you aren't overwhelmed by this, and that it turns out to be easier than you imagine. And I really do want to hear from you afterward.

Maybe other fathers can learn something.

Common Ground Four

If anyone thinks that just because we've passed the days of puberty a guy's dick won't drive him to distraction they are very sadly mistaken.

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We could be sitting at work, and wham! there it is. We squirm a bit in the chair, or try to adjust for comfort and, instead of helping to reduce the blooming boner, the movement causes our clothes to rub against it and make it harder. Before we know it, the log of wood has become a bar of steel.

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If it's a boner so hard it hurts - well, all bets are off. We're off to the Men's Room to lock ourselves into a stall until we've beaten it into submission. In a survey conducted by TimeOut (an online magazine out of New York) 39% of men admitted to masturbating at work. Reporter Jillian Anthony suspects the percentage is actually much higher - it's just that some respondents were too embarrassed to admit it.

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In January, 2016, Drew Millard of Vice conducted another (very unscientific) survey on the topic of rubbing one out at work and put the percentage at 40%. He began his search of guys who whack at work by reporting on GuyFi, the public masturbation room in New York City. It held a laptop, a chair, and was surrounded by a curtain. Well, okay, it was a marketing stunt for a sex toy company to promote the results of their survey on workplace masturbation by men.

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"I do it all the time," said Josh, a guy in his 20s who works at an office. "I've just always used it as a method to calm down and relieve stress during the middle of the workday occasionally." a respondent of Millard reported.

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Which is a pretty common reason. If I had a big meeting coming up, it helped calm my nerves. If I was having trouble concentrating or stressing about a project, it eased the tension. During the day, I'd use a stall. Sometimes, if the room was empty, maybe I'd just stand

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If I was working overtime - after hours or a weekend - right at my desk

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In March of 2012, an LA Weekly report on a survey by Glamour magazine put workplace wanking at 31%. (It appears we guys are getting more honest as the years tick by.) The article's headline went so far as to suggest that men masturbate pretty much "anywhere a boner pops up." How true is that? Reporter Jessica Jung wrote that she "conversed with a male friend and brought up the surprising percentage of men who've jerked it at work. He nonchalantly said he's done it -- and he believes 31 percent is not the real deal, suspecting that the survey takers weren't completely honest. My friend is a straight talker and (believe it or not) very professional, so I asked why he would ever do something like that in a work environment. His response: Guys get boners very often in the day and acting upon it occasionally comes easy and naturally. No matter where they are."

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24% admitted to jacking off while driving.

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I have an acquaintance (now a Sex Therapist) who did her Master's Thesis on female sexuality and masturbation. In one section she addresses why men are more prone to masturbation than women. She concluded it's because not only do men get frequent erections, but they interact with their penises so many times during a normal day. Think about how many times you take a leak every day.

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Then there's showering; dressing and undressing; having to adjust the package for one of those boners. We must directly touch, or interact in some way with our cocks dozens of times each day. That makes it rather a normal progression into jacking off.

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Common Ground Three

Here's the thing, Dad... If you recall when you were your sons' age, it seemed as if your cock never went soft, and your balls ached all the time no matter how many times a day you stroked one out. You wondered if you were some kind of pervert, addicted to playing with your pecker.

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If there was no information coming from your father, no older brother you could confide in, what did you do? Did you have a buddy or two you could ask, "Is your dick hard all the time? Do you...you know...jack off?"

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Your boys need to know they are on common ground here. 98% of the male population wakes up with that log of wood your son was so freaked out that you'd seen. You need to tell that youngest son that not only is it normal - it's a damn good thing he gets them.

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You need to tell both of your sons in that sit-down, that it's common for boners to hit us so many times a day that, at some point in our pubescent years, we really did think they never went down. The jokes about hiding our stiff cock bulges behind books didn't come out of nowhere. And, the phrase "Perpetual hard-on" exists for a reason.

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As far as wacking the willy, we all did. And, barring some medical issue or other, we still do.

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We don't confine ourselves to jacking off while hiding in the bathroom, either. If a boner strikes and won't ease, we'll find a way to relieve it no matter where we are. Particularly if it's extremely hard.

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Don't make it seem as if you no longer masturbate, either. Let them know you're human. That you still enjoy pleasuring yourself. And, with any amount of luck, as we military guys used to joke, "I want to die with my hard cock in one hand, and a beer in the other."

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I applaud you for being such a cool dad. Your sons' friends will wish their own fathers were as open and honest. If they begin asking you for information

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be the Koolaid Dad - step up to the plate and give them honest answers.