"I was raised in a Naturist family, naked every moment at home. I now have a family of my own and we embrace the Naturist lifestyle. My father originates from the Pacific Islands and we always had wraps at the ready when guests were expected, and we follow that as well. Though, also like my parents did, we do entertain like-minded people at our backyard pool during the summer. My in-laws do not agree with our lifestyle and think we're awful. They chastise us not only for raising our son and daughter in this environment, but that we also entertain in this manner. They claim we are doing the kids irreparable harm and everyone should be clothed when we entertain. I wholeheartedly disagree, obviously, and think they need to butt out. What do you think? And how do I get them to do so?"
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There are a lot of families who live this way. So long as there is no sexual activity going on, I not only agree with you, I applaud you. You're teaching your son and daughter that there is nothing shameful about their bodies.
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How do you get them to butt out? Tell them exactly what you told me. This is your family, your home, and you have the right to live as you wish.
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Readers, what do you think?
17 comments:
I think that if one meets another person / group / family who does not share the same vision of living naked, he should keep this in his mind and in his behaviour.
I agree....it is his house. But he will never change their minds. It hard to change the mind of conservative people, and it also is a very small percentage who live that way....which also doesn't help the case. Either they accept it, or stay home.
Absolutely raise your children as you see fit. This is a good opportunity to teach them about body shame and differing social mores; but the understanding that "just because lots of people believe something, that doesn't mean it's true" is a valuable tool to have throughout life and cannot be taught too early in my opinion.
As far as getting the in-laws (grandparents) to butt out, I don't have any real suggestions except to say firmly "This is how we've decided to raise our children, and we will behave according to our own beliefs when we're in our own house. I'd prefer not to keep fighting over this." If that doesn't work, I'm not sure anything will: it seems like they are more concerned with making you do what they want rather than concern about harm to the children.
Thanks for your visits and comments. Have a restful weekend! Still hot and humid here. People should certainly not be ashamed of their bodies - clothed or nude! Let people live their lives as they wish. As long as there is no sexual abuse.
First his wife needs to be with him, since it’s her parents that are the antagonists and inter-family relations can be a minefield at the best of times! If she is prepared to take a stand with him, then take the “our house our rules” approach with emphasis on the healthy attitudes they are developing in their kids, and that they don’t want the kids subjected to negativity and body shaming. Therefore taking the “our house our rules” stance and calmly but firmly saying the topic is no longer available for discussion. The in-laws have made their opinions clear and they should be told, politely but firmly, to now keep those opinions to themselves.
There also needs to be some kind of consequence so that if the in-laws feel they can’t abide by this request (rule), there is a consequence, such as being asked to leave and return when they can, or maybe something else that doesn’t open them up to accusations of “they kicked us out”. I would not go as far as saying they can’t visit, I’d make it clear they are always welcome as long as they can aide by this simple request. It does risk them taking the high road and saying they don’t feel welcome and then choosing to not visit anymore and blame son-in-law, so it needs to be carefully handled so as not to cause a family rift.
Families eh? Can’t live with them, can’t bump them off and bury them under the patio! Naked hugs.
What you said!
The people doing irreparable harm are those who shame the body, teaching kids there is something inherently wrong with their bodies. It is that type of upbringing that causes people to have all kinds of hangups and unhealthy attitudes toward our natural selves and sexuality. I agree with what you told him to do. If kids grow up seeing naked folks then when they see naked folks they don't think there is anything weird or sexual. Nakedness is not sexual. His in-laws need counseling but I don't think that would help. What a sad life for his in-laws. If we forbade showing your ankles then seeing ankles would become highly sexualized.
Per our other conversation - lending a helping hand is what we bros do for each other. Always willing to help a brother in need.
Take care and have a super weekend - Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
They're blameless and, as one of my friends would say it (no later than on his previous post), without guilt. And the fears of his wife as regards the children are unfounded, baseless and unsubstantiated. In other words, they are stupid fruits of social stereotypes and of the syrupy prejudices of religious persons whom made the barter of their tiny intelligence against pre-established formulas to be rigidly followed.
I hope all is well with you and yours, my darlings Jean and Pat, and I wish you a great day and a pleasant weekend.
If it was just a couple, private life or entertaining, that’s fine. It only starts to get dicey when you’ve got children and especially entertaining outsiders. As the children get a little older, the outside world including the Internet is going to be telling them a very different story and it might be confusing and stressful for them. This lifestyle must have some guidelines, and some real life examples of how to deal with problems that may come up.
Speaking of problems this was a big day for Trump who got a physical at Walter Reed Hospital. Now you can’t make this up but the physical was performed by, Rear Admiral Dr. Ronny Jackson, the White House physician. Happy weekend, hugs and bisous!
I was not raised in a nudist home, but we guys (my dad and brothers) were OK with being naked in front of each other in certain situations like changing in the locker room at the Y, etc. I think it gave me an appreciation of the human body and is why today I am a social nudist. (I don't have any reason to think that other members of my family are though.)
If a family wants to raise their children that way, I think it is great. As long as it is no sexual connection to it, I think it is beautiful and natural.
when i first got my ear pierced and my mum noticed, she said many things, but when she said that she raised me better than that in her house. i responded by saying she was in my house now. end of conversation and three years later i actually got earings for a gift.
your house = your rules.
Get rid of them. They are not the friends you think they are.
Once they start the 'think of the children' crap that is the warning sign. They either have an agenda or have some deep seated hatred towards one of them (the husband, the wife or the kids). The nudity is not the real issue.
The issue is not a swinging dick and a pair of boobs; thats just the catalyst. There is something else going on with the family bringing out the heavy artillery.
Your family should be all that matters. What the other family thinks of yours thats their problem not yours.
I'd wrap up when the in-laws visit, unless it's for a pool party or at a beach - don't force your values on them if they can't see how great it is to be nude.
me ny brother and dad are naked at home all the time. if my mom was around she would throw a fit and i'm so glad to be out of her house. R
Your gif at the top of your post shows Justin Theroux in “6 feet under”
Bisous.
Not raised nudist, but I was used to things like the locker room and swimming.
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