Happy Pride.
"I'm legally blind and lost my sight in an accident when I was ten. I didn't handle it well to say the least. My mother left after a year leaving my dad to deal with me and my bullshit. He helped me learn to navigate life. When puberty hit and I didn't see how much of a mess I had made he laughed and cleaned it up then taught me to put a towel over it when I came. He died from covid and I'm left learning to navigate alone. My biggest problem is I have never had sex except for masturbating and can't seem to find anyone. As soon as a guy finds out I'm blind he says no thanks. Just because I can't see doesn't mean my dick doesn't work. I guess I just want you to tell your readers that disabled people aren't sexless."
There are resources to help you. According to an article, "Blind and Queer and Finding Community," in the Washington Blade, "Twenty years ago, Blind Friends of Lesbians and Gays (BFLAG), became an affiliate of the American Council of the Blind (ACB), an advocacy group. In 2009, BFLAG’s name was changed to Blind LGBT Pride International (BPI)."
I'm going to suggest you hit them up using the following link: Blindlgbtpride.org and join. It's $15 per year and they also have a Facebook page. Not that they're a dating service. But they may be able to help you find someone in your community to help you navigate the dating world so you don't have a lifetime of solo sex.
19 comments:
Ok, so first, the video.
Fantastic! I love La Cage.
Second, fuck people and their selfish ways. How come being blind is a dealbreaker?? Ugh. People are so superficial!
I would recommend local LGBTQ centers, too, especially if he lives in large/midsize city. Many have services that help people with impairments. He needs to get to one ASAP. Your link is useful, too.
XOXO
No, no suggestions from me. But I wish him well with your good advice.
The guy in the first photo has found a way to improve his eyesight that leaves me dubious and skeptical.
I'm kidding, and in fact I take your reader's problems quite seriously.
A problem that does not prevent him from writing, and I hope that it will not prevent him from reading the Blind LGBT Pride site either.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
This guy doesn't say how old he is. I assume a young adult. I also don't know how social he is. I suggest he get involved in as many gay dinner groups, church groups and find some folks who can pick him up and get him there. The more social he becomes, the more likely he is to find intimacy and sex. I also think having at least one good friend he can ask about things that make him look better (hair, clothes, etc) so that he sets himself up for success. I came out at 38, and though I'm not blind, I owe a few of those friends a lot for being completely honest with me and pointing out where I could make myself better suited for a "suitor" :).
People are so strange. If I was close to him... the being blind wouldn't put me off. Tell to to contact me...Id have no problem having sex with him.
well done!!!
@ MFP - I'd assume the wonders of today's speech/text technology makes it all possible. Hugs and bisous.
@ Gay Dad - I love your suggestion. I hope he's at least got a friend or assistant to help him with those things.
@ Maddie - He didn't say where he lives. But I'll ask. He could use a friend like you!!
@ Six - Right??? I mean, what does being blind have to do with enjoying sex? XOXO
If you turn off all the lights to have sex, you're both (all) effectively 'blind!'
Get fit and do things that make you feel good; that can be helping others.
Nothing is more attractive than that.
The Hearings are spectacular. Hugs and bisous.
20 years ago or so.. I was at the bath house one night and a BEAUTIFUL young blond boy was brought in by a friend, who helped him get situated in a group room.. guys were trying to get his attention and trying to be "hot" rubbing their junk.. they didn't realize the kid couldn't SEE them.. he was blind, but his blue eyes looked normal. I was much older than he, but I moved and sat next to him.. talked to him with care and asked if I could touch him.. he said yes, and I did the most tender work I've ever done.. I don't think he knew that I knew he couldn't see me, but I asked if I could do each thing so I didn't surprise him and he would know what was happening... we played for awhile and eventually I said "I wish I had a room" and he said "I wish I had one, too' (He did have a room with his friend..) but I did what I set out to do.. give him careful tender pleasure.
Yeap I can certainly now the tribulations about be a handicap, but for me was my legs, not control my bowels, pee and not feeling my dick or cum unless massage my prostate -have a accident in my teens (at my 14).
People can be really shit about being with a disable dude, but it's not always. I has sex with a lot of men, jerkoff with a lot of them, also explain to them I don't feel the skin of my dick but I enjoy masturbation and blowjobs and of course I don't feel pain in my butt but pleasure? Yes!!!
So to this guy; You need to chill out and be in other circles of people, maybe that's the problem. Now days, people specially gay dudes are more open about being with a disable men's, we endure more thins like regular people, so for us can be more easy to manage this kind of things.
Oh! And if you tried in social media.... That's a different thing. On the chat environment it's a nightmare find someone to have a good relationship, to much expectations. But who knows, focus on yourself and your self love, then part from that. Cheers!!!!
Why would someone handle suddenly going blind, well? It's a huge life shock and a major challenge losing an important sense. Kudos to the OP's Dad and the OP themself for navigating to this point.
Sadly the world is a very selfish place, often in pursuit of the perfect being the enemy of the good enough: even a man in full possession of all his senses may receive many "no thanks" for any number of reasons, because you don't tick all the boxes on someones shopping list.
As much as the OP might be understandably champing at the bit to get some physical intimacy, my suggestion would be to start off by trying to walk before you can run: develop friendships based on common interests that will remain and also help meet other needs, regardless of exploration of physical intimacy, but might also permit that exploration in time.
Consider hiring an escort for the first time, where the situation is more under control and deliverable of what you want without as much performance anxiety (although age might be a factor here).
Consider arranging a full body massage, not for sex, but for an introduction to touch by another person, also under greater control of your needs and not someone elses as well. There may be a possibility of a sexual element too depending on the practitioner. The OP could talk about how good it feels to be touched by another person after so many years of "neglect" and casually mention their difficulty in achieving touch, let alone sex. Sometimes you have to open doors so that others can walk through to meet you, rather than expect them to do everything and risk a lot, however being too direct can also be risky for you.
In an interaction between 2 people, both have needs and wants possibly competing, which makes it very messy navigating the middle ground, but purchasing a defined interaction where only the customer's needs exist, can significantly reduce that navigation effort.
I believe people are fundamentally afraid of difference, because of the unknowns. Interacting with someone who is blind adds another dimension of difference to the equation, that they may not experience with someone who is not and consequently it's less confronting to go with less difference. I would try to appreciate that many of the "no thanks" may be due to fear on the part of the other person rather than rejecting you as a person.
Difference can also work in favour of gay men, because it is one less area that one is navigating relatively blindly, because what one enjoys for oneself as a man is going to be biologically similar to other men. It is for this reason that the OP should consider exploring their full erotic potential of their own body, so they are better prepared for interacting with other men. There's no need to wait for others to introduce you to the mysteries of your own body and by doing it yourself first you have far more control.
I think it is such a shame that we put a lot of emphasis on the other meeting our needs when we can meet many of them ourselves and with less difficulty than having to navigate what the other wants too.
I wish the OP well in taking greater control over exploring the sexual dimension than just leaving it up to finding others who are congruent, but also in finding congruent other men.
Blindness as a dealbreaker in 2022.
I will point out that some disabilities can be different. With a paraplegic, you have to do the legwork, no pun intended. I mean, you have to move your partner's legs, and there are classes to do it properly, special equipment. Or you can just be a spacetime-warping vigilante who has a fiancée and until recently responded to romantic overtures with the same paranoia as his bat-dad. *glares at Marc Andreyko, realizes it wàs probably Dan Didio, glares at him too* But with blindness? I've never heard of any issues.
We don't see people with any handicap as sexual beings because they are not shown in porn or pictures. What we don't see we don't understand. Thank you for showing the guy in the wheelchair. We need to see more of all kinds of people being sexual.
@ Jean - Quite interesting and quite telling. I learned some things! Hugs and bisous.
Not sure where he's meeting these folks, but empathic people, people who are kind, people who realize we are all more than our physical selves? Well, a disability isn't the sort of thing that precludes being intimate with another. Best of luck. There are those out there who will cherish you. It's not the ones that won't that matter... it's the ones who will!
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