Don't Get Your Balls in a Twist

Oh, holy shit! Oh, motherfucker! It's the hollering I've done when I've gotten a ball twisted. It's no fun. No siree, it is not.

The symptoms of a twisted testicle, depending upon the amount of torsion - and your pain threshold - can register as a dull ache running up into the lower abdomen to a sharp stabbing sensation that can literally make you feel nauseated and dizzy; you may actually vomit; you may pass out. That nut will most likely swell.

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I dropped trou, dangled my balls over the edge of the bed 

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Then gently - very damn gently - tapped and massaged it until the worst of the pain stopped.

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I was told by that old Shaman friend of mine that I called - who was also a doctor - I'd done exactly the right thing. If that hadn't worked, he said, "get thee to an emergency room post haste. And I do mean fast!" Then he told me if the ball swelled, or the ache did not ease within a day, I should still go to the ER. The pain involved will most likely remove any amount of shyness, but... When you arrive in an ER you need to be up front with the Triage Nurse about your reason for being there. Why?

According to HealthOnline:

"The most common cause of a urologic emergency related to the (male) genitourinary tract is a highly painful one called testicular torsion. Men have two testicles that rest inside the scrotum. A cord known as the spermatic cord carries blood to the testicles. When a man experiences torsion of testes, this cord twists. As a result, blood flow is affected and the tissues in the testicle can start to die." (My italics and bolding.)

"Testicular torsion can occur after an injury to the groin. Rapid growth during puberty may also cause the condition. And the condition can occur anytime. Testicular torsion can occur when a man is sleeping or when he is engaging in physical activity. Sports injuries can cause torsion of the testes."

If the ER doc cannot manually untwist your nut,

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surgery will be done, preferably within 48 hours. Anything longer than that and the testicle will have to be removed. According to the Mayo Clinic 95% of men treated within six hours of the onset of pain don't require surgery. Unfortunately, 90% of young men end up losing a nut because they wait too long; they're too embarrassed to tell anyone about the problem.

Some men endure a lifelong problem with this. The most likely reason is a birth defect known as "bell-clapper syndrome" - wherein the balls move too freely inside the sac. Yes, though it may not be obvious, our man-berries are typically held to the scrotum with a connecting tissue.

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Guys, never mess around with problems involving your package. Ladies, if the men in your life appear to have pain in the groin, speak up! Don't allow them to "man up" to the pain.

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 Force them to seek treatment. 

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It could be tantamount to continued fertility, not to mention enjoyment

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A

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