"My friend and I are both happily married. We're equally content with our lives and home relationships. We spend a lot of time together, we enjoy one another's company, and we also enjoy a sexual relationship. We spend entire weekends, and even vacation together once in a while. Our spouses know and it doesn't bother them at all; in fact they support us. The problem is we both have children who don't know. How do we handle it when they eventually discover the situation?"
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Well, now... It's refreshing to know there are wives out there who fully understand the type of relationship you have outside of your marriages. It really is possible to love your families and still enjoy that type of male bond. As for the kids, depending upon their ages, I'd be quite surprised if they don't already know. So, the real question becomes: What will you tell them when they do find out?
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I'd say be quite honest about it. That you enjoy the time, you enjoy the sex. That you can both maintain a healthy, loving family life and still find time for a special friend. That their mothers know and support you.
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Once upon a time in our history - and not that long ago in the scheme of things - men were able to openly enjoy the kind of lives you have. It's healthy.
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Certainly more healthy than having to sneak around as so many men are forced to do, like I did with my first wife by "going to the gym"
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How would you have answered?
13 comments:
You have well answered. As for me, I am not in a good state of mind for doing the same thing. I have just learnt a bad piece of news as regards one very good friend of mines for more than ten years. His “husband” left him for another man after a even longer time of common life. I am very sad. I don't understand. As for I am faithful as a dog, but certainly not my Christopher. Something that I fully accept, but which is not less painful.
I wish you a great day, mon chéri, with a lot of bisous.
You answered the question perfectly! Being open and honest with the kids is the best.
You may well not be surprised that I have many special friends,lol! One guy I see in particular is married, but his wife is not in the slightest sexual any more for various causes. So when he and I were friends, we were drinking one night, where I revealed I thought he was hot as hell. I ended up blowing him. This developed into a full blown sexual relationship and still continues. His wife knows me and is all for it, since she can't meet his needs there. And she trusts him more with me than another woman she said. She also tells her friends that are borthered by it.....he's in good hands. I wonder how common this is?
Great post! Wonderful pictures! Interesting situation! If everything is as wonderful as it sounds, then I'm sure the children will cope! Thanks for your visits! Hugs, Patrick
do you have children?
your wifes are so great!
I think your answer was a good one.
I so love your points of view. I almost want to send this blog post to my wife..... but she would not "get it"
Thank you, again for your really great posts
Good answers, bro. It seems to me a very wonderful teachable moment helping their kids to understand healthy and happy sexual relationships. I hope you are well and squirting geysers! Have a bonerific day! Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
One of the interesting findings of a landmark book on gay male relationships -"The Male Couple" - was that in the 150 relationships the authors studied, all but one were sexually exclusive after the 6th year, and the "one" was a couple who had never had sex with each other! Gay relationships are more sexually open than straight ones. Both of my relationships, now totaling some 26 years, were/are open, in part because we find it exciting to meet new people and in part because we have desires that our partners aren't enthusiastic about fulfilling and our fuck buddies are. I've always been a reluctant top and my partners deserve more. Safety for the relationship is important for this to work - the regular fuck buddy remains a buddy and doesn't challenge the relationship (much). So male fuck buddies for men in relationships with women halp to make this clearer - I'm glad to hear that some of your readers have this "problem"!
Honesty is always best here; they will figure it out. If they know it before someone tells them it's strange, it won't seem strange.
Now, how much honesty is another thing: Does a guy have to explain "We stroke each other's cocks and sword fight and wrestle naked but Mommy's safe because that's all we do sexually."? Probably not in those words. Depends on age too. Kids do walk in on parents, and they do click on history folders, so they can walk in on Daddy and his friends having an edge party.
This would be easier if schools offered real sex education.
Oh, South Park had an episode about what happens if you lie about this sort of thing. To give you an idea how it turned out, it's a Butters episode.
@ Anon - Going into detail isn't necessary. It should be enough to admit the relationship and that their mothers know and approve.
And I wholeheartedly agree that if sex education was done properly it would be a lot easier.
@ mistress - I think that's fantastic. She's aware of his sexual needs and has no issues with him satisfying them with you; that she trusts you and tells her friends she's perfectly fine with the situation is icing on that cock - er, I mean cake! The fact that you are accommodating without judging him, or questioning his marriage is to your credit.
SO TRUE: It really is possible to love your families and still enjoy that type of male bond.
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