A Sticky Situation

"It's a sticky situation. I don't produce any pre-cum at all. When I cum I get one tiny spurt of jizz out my dick. I feel the "pulses" and my cock will throb with each one, but nothing shoots out. I want to get it checked out but I live at home and I'm still on my parents insurance. It might be one thing if my father took care of all the bills but it's my mom who does it. I don't want her questioning me. What do you think is causing this? Do I need to see a doctor?"

B

Well, there are a couple of things which could be happening. Some guys just don't produce much semen. You could be one of them. But, it could also be Retrograde Ejaculation. You have all the sensations of cumming but the semen is firing backward into the bladder, instead of out the end of your cock. You might be able to check this one at home. You'll need a clear jar or bottle. Drink lots of water until your urine is clear. Then you'll masturbate to orgasm.

C

When you take that post-cum piss, use the bottle.

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If this is simple retrograde ejaculation, the urine will be cloudy...that's your semen. It's not dangerous in any way but, at this time, there's nothing anyone can do to change it. The sphincter that closes off the pathway from the bladder is either not there, or not operating efficiently.

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Two: You don't mention it, but if there is a small bulge, or swelling, in the lower abdomen - beside the base of your cock - right after you orgasm, there could be a blockage of the seminal ducts. The swelling can ache but will usually go away after a while as the body absorbs the semen. Again, you get all the sensations of an orgasm, but no true ejaculation. It's a long-shot but vibration therapy might be able to clear it. Or, micro-surgery could remove the blockage to fix this, but you need a very skilled surgeon.

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If you want to sire offspring, your sperm would have to harvested. There are several methods, but your situation would most likely involve a procedure known as  Microsurgical Epididymal Sperm Aspiration (MESA).  There are other methods which you can read about here: How can sperm be retrieved. 

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In a strict case of retrograde ejaculation, there is a centrifuge system of collecting sperm from urine. It involves jacking off

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and then pissing into medical-type urinal large enough to capture everything.

Though painless it's difficult to separate the viable sperm from other cells and not very successful. If you determine you need to see a doctor, I suggest you create an opportunity to broach the subject with your father before seeing a doctor. 

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That way, he can inform your mother in a way that won't have her questioning you.

That One Friend

That one friend. That one close friend. The one you can spill your guts to, who will listen without judgment and offer solace instead of advice. Those are important to us. For me, for the most part, anyway, it is my wife. I surely am grateful for that, and it's probably as it should be with a spouse. But, we still need same-gender friendships like that. 

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Makes sense - I was always more comfortable around girls/women than I have ever been with men. But I have had two non-sexual male relationships; one in high school and we are still in contact; one in the military who, for some reason though we live 3-1/3 miles apart, decided 15 years ago (around my 50th birthday) to stop communicating. No explanation - no return calls; nothing.

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 But friendships are important for all of us. Though we are aware of this, we still can't seem to put the brakes on ridicule, the salacious commentary where none is deserved. As Jean pointed out, even some women - Oprah and Gayle, Michelle Obama and Valerie Jarrett - have to deal with this type of speculation; though not nearly as much as men.

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 We need the person we can be comfortable with. Talk with, laugh with, and cry with.

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B

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I wish I had an answer.

Any suggestions?

Do You Admit to It?

Jean connected my up with a short video.

Toxic Masculinity

It says a lot about how we are raised in this country - perhaps others. But, here in the States it's pervasive.

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Males are raised to be less than human - without emotions. We're taught that men don't express their emotions - other than anger. I even remember when my own father began my "training." I was around 7, my mother had gone to visit a brother in California and I missed her. I cried. That's when my father began to call me names: Pansy and crybaby; telling me boys don't cry.

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Needless to say, my relationship with him only worsened; it never did recover. But, boy! did the lesson stick. Sadly, even today, I can't allow myself to cry even in front of my wife. I have to be in serious pain to do that.

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 We truly need to get men on track. Instead of clamming up, we should be able to talk to one another, discuss serious things, to have intimate relationships with our male friends. That doesn't mean anything sexual - just supportive of each other.

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 Shedding shame that we feel hurt, disappointment, and love, that we can have a deep, caring relationship with a friend, is a tough thing for men - but, if we expect to become whole human beings, it must be done.

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What's your experience with this?

Do you have deep, caring relationships with members of your own gender?

Do you admit to it?

Listen To It

While we're on the subject of maladies... There are things which are always thought of as "women's ailments," that can also attack us guys. We're human, and the difference in occurrence of these things is due only to variations in genes, anatomy, and hormones. Here are just a few:

Osteoporosis. This reduces the density of bone. (No, not that one! LOL) But, by age 60 or 70, we begin to lose bone mass at about the same rate as women. The phrase "little old man" is a result of this disease. One excellent clue: Look at your own male relatives. Do yourself a favor. During your next Physical, ask your doctor to do a Density Scan. They're quick, they're painless.

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Breast Cancer. This is a biggie, folks! Even some in the medical profession still are not aware of this. Insurance companies have been known to deny treatment coverage because they don't know men get breast cancer. But, the incidence of male breast cancer is on a fast track! Worse: Men typically don't survive as long after diagnosis because they aren't cognizant of symptoms. Look for unusual lumps or skin abnormalities in the chest area. Double down, guys - combine a self exam with the monthly ball check.

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Eating disorders. Men fall prey to this, too. Lately, as men have been pressured to pay more attention to appearance, many go overboard. Men are also less likely to seek treatment.

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Bladder infections. Another big one. Guys, it happens - not as often, but it does. Particularly in men who have enlarged prostate (all men as we age), and kidney stones. Be aware of the symptoms: Frequent urination; cloudy or bloody urine; burning or tingling when you piss; a strong urge to pee; low grade fever.

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Depression. A thing we guys will simply deny. But, we fall prey to this much more than realized. Job loss, crumbling relationships, financial problems, and a host of other things. The bad thing is, men turn to drugs or alcohol, or engage in risky behavior to combat the emotions.

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Get that yearly physical, 

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and always pay attention to your body. It speaks to you.

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Listen to it.