There's been a lot of talk about sex and erotica (porn). Especially in light of the mass killer in Atlanta claiming he shot those eight people because he was addicted to sex and porn and he felt guilty. So, kill some people, right?
But, it's bullshit. Plain and simple. Just as I wrote in a post last week. Just as Faithful Reader and fellow blogger Sixpence wrote in his blog (Lo) Imprescindible post today. Just as Gabrielle Kassel suggests in her Healthline series, "An Adult's Guide..."
"Listen twice as much as you talk. Don’t go to bed angry. These are the tenants of a happy, healthy relationship.
But there may be another: Watch adult videos together.
Yes, you read that right. According to some sex educators and relationship therapists, watching erotica can bring a whole lot of good (nay, great) to a relationship!"
Consuming porn, with a partner or alone, whether gay, straight, or bi, can actually teach us a lot, enhance our repertoire, and increase our enjoyment of sex (alone or with a partner). It helps with that all-important tool to any relationship: communication.
It can get you in the mood. It can heighten your arousal. It can normalize sex acts or positions.
Are there downsides? Of course. Just as there can be with anything.
Don't: Compare yourself or your partner - body or stamina - to what you see on screen. That can lead to all sorts of self-esteem issues.
Bottom line, writes Kassel, "So long as you find the right video(s), watching erotica with your partner(s) can be pleasurable!" There's no need or reason to feel guilty. Sex is good.
It can be made better with porn.
18 comments:
I agree with everything you said. These lies and allegations are getting so crazy. Not with just this, but everything. And gullible people are believing it, and that's the sad part. It almost reminds me of when they burned women at the stake for being witches, and in some cases weren't.
Next thing you know, that will be back.
I wholly concur! When I heard about the events in Atlanta and the excuse was "I'm addicted to porn", my gut called bullshit, too. I'm just waiting for the REST of the story to come out.
If he felt guilty, he should have killed himself.
That being said, why did he kill eight persons? I.M.O. because he had a weapon, and he cocked his gun before firing it.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
The Atlanta mass killing is to me the same issue as the Boulder one.
It's all about mental health and sickness.
Those two had issues: the first was his sexual addiction and the second his non accepting for him being muslim and being bashed in school.
From another point of view or mine as a Canadian, the damn right to buy guns in USA and the antique Second Amendment gives those mentaly hill men to possess the power to do mass shooting.
What is to notice: how many mass shootings were done by women in USA ?
I don't see any.
Male mental balance seems to be more fragile than women's.
For us in Canada and since the pandemic in province of Québec, there are many «femenicids», men killing their spouse or girlfriend. We had 7 dead women in 7 weeks and we find it very disturbing.
Those men as they said on TV were maybe threatened by there wives going back to work outside their house so they wouls lose their grip on their wives.
It's all about a mental issue about a male having to control his «female».
Porn is just a small and maybe not the real reason for men doing such leathal actions.
For USA, I'd say that the NRA is the main killer than porn.
Hahaha yes, I did that.
And it's amazing the amount of anti-porn legislation going down the pipes in sixteen (!!) states. Mind-blowing. But that's the Religulous Wrong for you.
I like watching porn. A lot. And I've watched porn with partners and it's been fun.
More porn!
XOXO
Your comment about getting to know your publisher set off a warning for me.
You must remember the 1st rule of being an author:
MONEY FLOWS ->TOWARD<- THE AUTHOR!!
Under NO circumstances -pay- to have your work published!!
Don't pay editing fees, composing fees, advertising fees, artist's fees, printing fees....
Hmmm... you know what I discovered? I can do without. I don't know if it's writing a blog and commenting on other people's blog... but I have become immune to it's charms... porn. It does nothing. I am more interested in the angle of the photo than the angle of the dangle. I dunno why that happened. Now... I need the anticipation of something that might happen... that's my JO go to stuff now... my imagination. And yeah, that sex addict stuff. Bull. It's impulse control. Grow up and deal with it, right?
There are so many varieties of Porn it can't be rolled into one word, so it depends.
We had spring today, summer tomorrow. Hugs and bisous
Quite a hot post!
@ JiEL - That 2nd amendment "right" that the Republicans trot out every time we have a mass shooting is bogus. I would like people to start referencing it within its real words "a REGULATED militia." These people who do these killings are not militia and certainly not regulated. The idiot senators Cruz and Hawley both said yesterday that guns are not the problem - criminals are. Well, then why do they keep allowing criminals to get guns? ***heavy sigh*** The US is so fucked up, it makes no sense why someone would want to move here - refugees notwithstanding.
@ Paul - I've been doing a bit of research on that issue. This publisher doesn't charge its authors for anything and the royalty cut to their authors is a lot higher than any other I've looked at.
@ Jean - Well stated. Hugs and bisous!
@ MFP - Why did he kill eight persons? Because the Republicans allowed him to get his hands on a military-style weapon. Hugs and bisous.
My sons look at porn. Doesn't bother me at all because we've had those conversations about the good and the bad of it. I think a healthy attitude toward sex is important. - Dad
HALELUJAH...I thought that Bryn and I were the last people that remembered the words "REGULATED MILITIA". The intent of our founding fathers was to be able to defend our country NOT declare open season on each other. As for Senators Cruz and Hawley; the problem with political jokes is that they get elected.
We look forward to reading your published novella. We know that you will make a wise decision about this publisher.
Bryn and I have watched porn and read erotic literature for years. It is a sensual and enjoyable part of our relationship.
Ciao for now.
Bryn and Bruce
@JiEL: I'm Lakota. Trump threatened us so you guys could sell oil to China. People on both sides of 49°N need to pretending Canada is more enlightened.
You know what the US's favorite move was, back in the day? Round us up, confiscate our guns, then shoot us. That's what Wounded Knee is.
More to the point, this isn't a Muramasa sword. The gun didn't possess him. I know, I've used guns, knives, and bows before, but never turned them on someone else. TBH, he's no different than any other incel, including the racism. Racism is a huge part of both incel and MGTOW ideology.
But the big thing? Male entitlement. Feeling you're entitled to an orgasm.
Canada has a shit ton of white men who act the same to Indian women, by the way. Sex trafficking exists. Trudeau says he'll do something about it. He won't.
I have always watched porn: first magazines, then VHS, then DVD and finally now the internet. But I've always felt pornography as a pleasant substitute for real sex, done with men (at least one!). I am not addicted and I have actually learned a lot about sex! I still love pornography, but I'm not addicted!
@ Dad - That's the proper way to raise boys - teach them respect for others.
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