Friday, July 17, 2015

Lust Fades, Desire Remains

Some very good, very thoughtful, very studied answers from everyone. You all are the best!
I can understand how losing the ability would eventually lead to loss of desire. Once the period of frustration had waned.

The newness of a relationship is a prime example, I think. At the beginning the lust and horniness is tantamount. We cannot wait to get somewhere and rip the clothes off.

Yet, over time, the lust fades and the love remains.
Does that mean desire is gone as well? Probably not, since so many men complain about the lack of sex in their marriages.
But, lose the ability to perform and we men go to extraordinary lengths to regain it. 
Pills, lotions, pumps, cock rings, endless parade of hope linked to the desire to experience the pleasure once again.

Medical issues can result in the loss of ability, and surgeons have studied and studied looking for ways to resolve the problem. Women have experienced the loss of desire as they age. Drug companies have looked for compounds to help them regain it. Yet, as two Faithful Readers pointed out, cuddling and non-sexual intimacy can make up for the loss of ability when we truly care for another person.


Have a lovely weekend, everyone. If you still have the ability, you most likely still have the desire. So, enjoy yourselves.


SickoRicko said...

Great post! Hits the nail on the head.

A French Patrick said...

When we have no desire we have no lack and no need, and the capacity or its abscence is not a problem, so few that the question does not arise.

As regards the love, for Diotime, love is a desire, and the desire is a lack. We desire and thus we love only what we are lacking, and that is why there is no happy love, if to be happy it is to obtain for what we wish. As soon as a desire is satisfied, there is not lack anymore, and if there is not lack anymore, there is not desire anymore, and as there is not desire anymore, there is not love anymore.
For Spinoza, to love somebody it is to be happy just because of the fact that he exists and of the fact that we have the happiness of knowing him.
Two loves! Make your selfish or selfless choice.

I wish you a wondrous weekend, my dear friend, with a lot of bisous.


Great info as always, accompanied with wonderful images! Trust you are resting up and not overdoing things! BE KIND TO YOURSELF! I had a word with the waiters! They will travel anywhere as long as you pay the air fares!!! Have a restful weekend, Patrick

Jean said...

Barbra Streisand's advice for a happy marriage, kindness. Be kind to each other.

Oprah's advice, love yourself first! Good weekend to all!

Xersex said...

I'm not married, and believe or not, I have never had a bf, so I can't say anything on my own experience in that field.

Love the pics!

Hot guys pictures said...

The first boy is beautiful & dreamy.
#5 I like too, daddies can be sexy!

Artistjsudler said...

My partner and I are facing this issue: he is having serious prostate issues(possibly cancer). He is incredibly attentive but is equally frustrated in his inability to perform. We have found that extensive massage is a positive, including intimate substitute. He has never had a lot of physical contact and is constantly surprised by the emotional and memory release that massage can trigger. I hope it continues to help him as we work our way through this challenging medical time.

whkattk said...

@ jsudler - I am sorry to hear of his prostate issue - hope it turns out well. Keep the massage going, it helps him to relax and forget about the issue of not being able to get hard.

whkattk said...

@ Jean - Barbra is my all-time favorite!