Friday, June 17, 2016

Doctor's Orders: Jack Off

Now, back to Men's Health Month... We know how tough it is getting you to masturbate...
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Yep. That's the easy part. But, listen up!
Your doctor wants you to jack off.
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Surprised? Don't be. He wants you to inspect your cum. Really, he does.
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You're looking for traces of blood in your semen. 

Barring any major trauma like a punch to the kidneys or a kick to the nuts, blood in your cum could be an indicator of many different medical issues. The most minor being a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), the most major being a cancer.
Inspecting the cum on a hand isn't the best way, really.

The ideal thing to do would be to ejaculate into a clear container of some sort, but then place it on a white surface or place a sheet of white paper underneath to help any traces of red or pink to show better.
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Seriously, this weekend? Jack off for your health.
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 A contrasting background would also work.
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You can even use a condom for this purpose.
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 If you notice any traces of red in your semen, it is important that you call your doctor and schedule an appointment immediately. Yes, there's a chance he could send you to the Men's Room with a vial.
He'll give you strict instructions on how he needs you to go about collecting the sample so it doesn't get tainted in any way. Yeah, you'll be embarrassed, you'll have this sheepish expression as you enter the restroom, and again as you exit with your sample.
 It's highly doubtful he'll have access to the latest technology in semen collection
 Or that he'll have a nice, cozy room like the fertility clinics, or donation centers use.
 But, you know what? A little embarrassment is better than waiting and getting a diagnosis of late stage cancer of some type.
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Now, go on. Doctor's orders. Go jack off.
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6 comments:

SickoRicko said...

I'm very intrigued by that technology for semen collection.

Xersex said...

very interesting!!!

A French Patrick said...

If my doctor wants me to jack off, I wonder if I am not a doctor without knowing it. In any case I agree with him, I mean with me, at any rate with us. And with you.

Not to ruin the euphoria of this unanimity, I shall say nothing about Donald who is not worth it, by wishing you and our dear Jean a wondrous weekend with lots of bisous.

Not Alone said...

I remember I had blood in my seaman once when I was young and in my mid 20s. I never did go to the doctor because it happened only the once, but it scared the shit out of me. It was also before the internet and I could do some self diagnosing. You don't call your mom or dad and say, "Hey, I was jacking off and my seaman had some blood in it." I do think you should be careful and know your body.

Great post, my friend!

LORD PATRICK said...

If I could I would! But since I can't I won't! Great advice! Wonderful images! Re the arm! It is mainly now the elbow - still inflamed and sore, but on the mend! Another course of antibiotics should do the trick! Fortunately it if my left arm! Trust you have a great weekend. Here it is wet and cold, with more storms forecast for tomorrow (Sunday)! Lots of hugs!

Jean WM said...

French Patrick, you really say things the best, Ha! A fun weekend to all the guys and your collection efforts. And Lord Patrick may you experience a healing miracle! Bisous Pat and Patrick