Faithful Reader, Jean, left a comment on yesterday's post which matched my own thoughts: When a person becomes addicted to porn, there could be an underlying issue. The same is said for other addictions; alcohol, drugs, food. So, why not porn?
I don't think it takes a degree in psychology to suggest someone seek help to delve into the why of the addiction. Like any other addiction, it cannot be overcome unless one is willing to understand why they have turned to a particular behavior.
The other thing which struck me was, how well do these men know their bodies? Particularly the young man in a featured interview who is only 17. He stated he sometimes masturbates to porn 4 or 5 times a day. Even my wife remarked, "Good lord, he's 17. It's not unusual."
How much can a guy know about what is happening to his body - the raging hormones tag-teaming the spontaneous boners?
Rhodes (founder of NoFap) offers weekend self-help meetings; seemed rather like an AA, NA, or OA meeting. But, not once did I hear him or anyone else in attendance ask about other life issues which could point to the cause of addiction.
One attendee was a new father, who started viewing porn media and jacking off during the months of his wife's pregnancy. I would've had to suggest that, perhaps, his wife had a lack of interest and he took matters into his own hands.
Again, it's not unusual. And a lot of men fall victim to what is termed the "Madonna Complex." Once the wife becomes a mother the guy feels like she can't/shouldn't be engaging in sex because sex is for "bad girls" not mothers. The men then find their sexual outlet through jerking off to porn.
6 comments:
Yet another thought-provoking post!
The etymology of the word addiction expresses a lack of independence and freedom: a slavery. A group of researchers from the University of Cambridge (United Kingdom) had published a study showing that the brain activity of sex addicts subjected to pornography was identical to that of drug addicts. They showed that this disorder manifests itself in the same way as addictions commonly accepted as such (alcoholism, drugs and cyber-dependence).
Here are some possible effects:
-psychological isolation related to self-shame,
-loss of the taste of simple things,
-absence in the present moment,
-erectile dysfunction,
-difficulty in mastering sexually (premature ejaculation),
-irascibility,
-permanent sexual thoughts and fantasies,
-isolation and degradation of dialogue in the couple, in the family,
-attraction towards more and more extreme or deviant practices,
-in the most extreme cases, suicidal thoughts.
A weaning consists in getting rid of a product or a behavior. It's losing an ingrained habit of making or consuming a substance (in the case of porn: hormones).
A weaning is made of clicks, successive and progressive stages. These levels are unique according to the individuals. It is impossible to say which ones will be yours. It is up to everyone to give themselves means according to their way of life; to test ways of doing over time... and to find their own ways of managing weaning.
What to do to get out of this? To be supported by a psychotherapist addictologist.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
[Not necessarily meant to be published.....just me venting.]
Of course, the pendulum can swing too far the other direction on this topic.
There seems to be a strong element in our society of expecting the married man's sex drive to accommodate that of the woman, and if his sex drive falls outside of this, then HIS behavior is NOT normal and needs to be modified for his own good and the good of the marriage. Heaven forbid a man's biological urges to get out of hand....or maybe one should say "in-hand".....that would be cheating on his betrothed.
I keep reading multiple references to being young and horny and needing release quite often....the joys of being young. However, there is a strong feeling in certain corners of our society that this is abnormal and needs to be called out and identified for the "problem" that it is.....otherwise you are a deviant.
Obviously, what I'm describing is a different topic than over the top porn addiction, which I have no doubt does exist. But let's not lose sight of the fact that using porn to rub one out to get some relief is still frowned upon by the do-gooders. It is also frowned upon by a large segment of the female population who does not comprehend the whole picture of what it's like being male....nor do they want to comprehend it. It doesn't fit their fantasy of how the world should work.....watch the Hallmark Channel for 5 minutes for verification of this. It seems their behavior is the one that needs modified.
when I was 17-25, and I was alone at home for a few days, I also masturbated 10 times a day with VHS porn. So nothing abnormal, really.
Really? 4 times a day at 17? So few?
I am a 61 year old Gay man. I am isolated, living in poverty. I was deeply closeted till recently.I am addicted to porn.It was my only sexual outlet. I live in a conservative, fundamentalist area. Socializing in the one nearby town where there is a an LGBT "community requires gas. Nothing is truly free. Seeking help? I honestly do not see the point. I do not spend money on it. The Internet has provided that. It WAS a financial problem in the past. It doesn't interfere in establishing a relationship because my financial situation makes it nearly impossible to meet potential partners.
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