Thursday, October 10, 2019

It's Only Natural

It's the kind of letter to Dear Abby that strikes a minor chord of ire in me.

"As a woman, I am infuriated by men of all ages who have to adjust their crotches all the time. Is there any way we can tell these men that what they're doing is vulgar and embarrassing, and it's rude to do this in public? I'm almost tempted to caress my breasts with both hands and push upwards. Any ideas? - Infuriated in Topeka"

Why does it not surprise me that the letter came from someone in that birthplace of guerilla-style homophobia borne out by the Phelps family of indignant theology; the family whose anti-gay antics became national news. What exactly are we supposed to do? Suffer until we are ready to pass out from the pain?

Abby got this one right. "Forget hoisting your breasts skyward. This has everything to do with our Creator's grand design. Because men's genitalia are external, their clothing sometimes pinches, which is uncomfortable. It's only natural that they try to remedy the situation. Try looking elsewhere."
Pinches, scrunches, bunches, squeezes. More adjectives aren't needed. It can feel like our balls are in a vise. 

And that doesn't even include spontaneous erections.


The fact of the matter is, men's "packages" take up space. Pouch-style briefs don't always provide enough room. 
Even if they do, things do not remain static; they shift.
I sure wish Abby had also thought to address the "vulgar and embarrassing" comment. Embarrassing for whom? I'm not embarrassed at the need to adjust. And, "rude"? What's rude is telling men they can't because of your own delicate sensibilities. Is it vulgar that much of women's wear is designed to show as much cleavage as possible, or that some blouses and sweaters cling tightly to the female form? Cocks and balls are no more vulgar than breasts. 

Guys, do you adjust when you need to, regardless of your location?

13 comments:

SickoRicko said...

Why yes, yes I do.

Xersex said...

love your wisdom!

Mark Greene said...

If I had a dollar for every time I had to adjust because my drawers were disturbing my family heirlooms I'd be a rich man ! Let's not even get on the wedgies I had to endure for underwear riding up my large intestines.

Your French Patrick said...

Dear Abby should maybe try to keep a dildo in her panties at the place concerned even during one day to see for herself whether she would do better or worse than these infuriating men.
Just for teasing, I admit that she is not completely wrong either.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.

Anonymous said...

Why am I not surprised that this comment comes from someone who will never know what it is like to have equipment that sometimes needs to be adjusted. I can take this bias one step further: how many catalogs have you seen with pages of “toys” for women to satisfy their “needs”, but the sight of a “toy” for men is disgusting and will immediately draw complaints. Definitely a different standard for one sex over the other.
Admittedly, some people “adjust themselves so much that you can’t help but think they may need a prescription.

Fullmoonma said...

Ao why do guys wear tight briefs? I usually wear loose soft cotton boxer briefs that allow my parts to move around responding to gravity without need for a lot of external adjustment.. I hate being scrunched up!

sstax said...

yes, I do adjust my cock from time to time. sometimes has to pull back my foreskin because uncomfortable.

I don't understand why that woman sent that kind of letter, well she does not have cock surely :-)

Anonymous said...

I don't have to do it often. Throughout the course of the day and moving around my package smashes down and kind of retracts out of the way. Sometimes hair gets pulled with the retracting skin and that doesn't feel right. I sometimes have to shove a hand down in my pants and readjust. Again I don't know if that is normal or not. My father never discussed much about man parts. I think or always wondered if some guys maybe do it more than others. Maybe it's pubes, foreskin, or the lack of foreskin, or maybe some guys just have an itch.

Mistress Maddie said...

I can do it usually with no one knowing. But if a bugle is showing, I don't mind, unless it's pinching. All I know is that your example of pictures here got to me tonight, and I had to run one off, lol!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

While I agree that I would like to be able to adjust when I need, I have been forced to realize that doing so can land you in HR hell. We have moved in the business and government world to the place where the most easily offended gets to determine what is allowed. The man who adjusted himself, if a co-worker, could have a sexual harassment complaint filed against him and end up being fired. A sad commentary on the current state of the business world.

whkattk said...

@ Anon - within the workplace there is typically a place to do some adjustment - a nearby men's room, the confines of the cubicle or office. But, you're correct - I could see someone running to HR to accuse some unsuspecting coworker of sexual harassment because he adjusted his package. If HR punished the adjustor, it would be a sad, sad day.

Jeff G. said...

I have adjusted so much it is just second nature to me and don’t even realize that I am doing it.

JDH said...

I certainly need to adjust myself in underwear from time to time. I try to be discreet about it - but often fixing a pinch or hair pull, etc. is more urgent than being discreet. I would suggest one near-complete solution to this problem: wear kilts. There are good Modern, Non-Traditional Kilts (like cargo kilts, etc.) that look nicely masculine - all the way from formal to casual/outdoorsman.