Monday I did a post about straight guys moaning that women don't give good hand jobs and Anonymous left a comment asking if it's unusual to be with someone but always finish the job himself.
So sometimes when I hook up with a guy we trade blow jobs which I enjoy. The warm mouth and seeing the guy suck my dick is great but I have a hard time coming from just a blow job and most of the time I do not get the guy off by sucking his dick.
I will start to give the guy a hand job and pretty soon the guy takes over and finishes the job. A lot of the time the same thing happens to me, I need to finish myself off. This is OK but not as much fun as having someone get you off or getting someone off.
So, is this normal or what should I be doing differently?
I would say it is not unusual and it is normal. We reach the point where we want to cum and it's pretty natural for us to simply stroke ourselves to the finish. I think it stems from our days of jerking off all the time. It's also (IMO) normal to want to be in control.
We guys have a tendency to forget that we can join in. It's okay to get involved in your own pleasure. That means you can play with your nipples, massage your balls, or give yourself some external prostate stimulation while your cock is being stroked, licked, or sucked.
But, to kick back, relax, and just allow the tension, the excitement build and have the other person take you over the edge is pretty damn wonderful. And, to do that, you must give up control. That doesn't mean you don't encourage (verbally) with words like "faster" or "harder" or "squeeze a bit tighter." It's also perfectly permissible to place your hand over your partner's hand to guide the strokes.
We often forget that it's okay to touch and stimulate ourselves when we're with someone.
It's okay to begin thrusting your hips and squeezing the butt cheeks (moves that will assist you in getting over the top).
Perhaps some of my Faithful Readers have more tips and advice.
Readers?
10 comments:
One who starts the job, the other who finishes it, is it not a just distribution of the tasks? Especially if the roles alternate.
Hugs and bisous to you, my darlings Jean and Pat. Have a great weekend.
For me it is finding that perfect vibration that I know how to achieve for myself but takes time for others to learn. Practice makes perfect! : ) Wishing you and your a JizzTastic Weeeeeeeeekend, my Friend. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
Anybody who has sex with somebody else has to learn to make this transition, male or female. It’s kind of like learning to enjoy the journey instead of just the destination. Hugs and bisous.
1. Often guys who are jacking me don't use enough oil to get me really high. I'll add oil myself if the bottle is handy.
2. Slow is more sensuous, but tendency of a lot of guys is to use a quick jack-off stroke.
3. I don't actually want to ejaculate when I'm being jacked - I want to do multiple dry orgasms to extend the pleasure. Guys can feel my cock get really thick and stiff before the orgasm and figure our what I want. Why don't I just tell them?
4. One guy I've seen a few times always gets me off. There's something about the energy flowing between us that is really really hot!
5. If you're doing mutual masturbation there's a tendency to mimic each others stroking that can be utilized to get more of what you want.
6. But it's often more intense to stay in roles of giving or receiving. As giver you can observe and adjust to slowly get the receiver higher and higher until he explodes.
7. It's important to spread the energy you generate in the cock around the body, especially to the heart - both working on yourself or a partner. This leads to higher states of arousal and ejaculation.
I have same problem with him. I do want to come while I was inside him, but its just never happen to me.
Occasionally, I can come when some one give me hand job.
I tried to relax, enjoy more but sadly just never happen to me, though we had great connection.
love the shots!
Keep in mind this comment is from 2 men that have been in love for many, many years.....
When you take control take complete control. When you surrender yourself surrender completely.
-Bryn and Bruce
I have never been able to cum from a blow job. I get much more pleasure from a hand job, and if the stroke is varied between slow and medium pace then i get a climax which is lots more satisfying than a fast wank!! So, if somebody is doing that for me, i do tell them when they are going too fast, or if they need to change the way they are stroking me.
Your reply was spot on.
Often, I think it can be more of a thought that "I know just what to do to bring it home" mentality. That's okay. Some guys or ladies could be too into the moment to give instructions to have the "helper" adjust their activities. It is easier to grab "it" and go directly to whoopee. The flip side of that though, is that unless one explains what DOES get them off, the cycle is doomed to be repeated causing more frustration. Maybe some discussion afterwards or even, horrors, during.
I was fortunate with my gay partners, many of whom were so talented that I had to pull them off of me as I was getting too excited. Somehow, most knew just what to do to when sucking or jacking.
I find that I can be finished off by someone easily but my husband can't. He can't come with a blowjob or handjob and anal is out of the question. Once his dick is "wet" from anything, he can't cum until he jacks himself off. I just think its different for everyone. I enjoy being "taken care of" more than anything.
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