Staying power. It matters to us regardless of whom we're with....even ourselves! And, it is typically when we are by ourselves that we have the chance to improve. Of course there will be times and situations - plenty of them - when you want (or need) to get off as fast as possible. And, there's no reason to feel guilty about that.
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Sex therapists will often assign masturbation homework. Some marriage counselors, upon occasion, do the same. Instructions will be to stroke without lube using the "start-stop method;" ceasing cock contact as ejaculation nears. Play with the nipples or balls, lightly massage the inside of the thighs.
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After the level of arousal subsides, go back to stroking.
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This continues session after session until you are able to maintain continuous cock stimulation for a full 10 to 15 minutes without cumming. Once that goal is achieved, use lube.
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Information left out of the conversation: Stop squeezing the butt cheeks. (Therapists, are you listening?)
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As T commented on Friday's post, Fleshjack has a model designed specifically to help a man learn control, to build stamina, and is something that would be very useful before moving on to penetration.
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One suggestion that is never made (to my knowledge): Find a buddy to practice with. But, it makes sense. Sometimes by simply watching another guy, it's amazing what we can learn about control. Different grips, different ways of stroking, altering the speed, things to maintain the hard-on while avoiding the point of no return.
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A jack off group, particularly a Tantric Group would also be quite helpful, because with Tantric the purpose is to learn orgasm without ejaculation, which helps a man last longer.
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If those methods don't help, don't despair. There is help for the man who, for one reason or another, cannot learn to overcome cumming too soon.
11 comments:
Excellent topic and advice AND very inspiring pix! Thanks. I hope all is going well, bro. I wish you a bonerific day! Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
It very rare I jack off quickly. Its always at least a half hour pleasure for me if I'm by myself. If I have company, like the Lad, he enjoys watching me jack off to a point then we have fun together, or sometimes we'll both run one off then have sex together. I have pretty good control when I want to ejaculate.
You are such a source of information! I wish I had had you around 70 years ago, when I needed to know all this! But I've had a very good sexual life! Never had another guy complain! Trust you had a restful weekend. Thanks for your continued visits and comments.
I'm able to control myy ejac. so no problem for me!
I don't know what kind of "times or situations" which can make me want (and for stronger reasons need) to get off as fast as possible. You are right, there's no reason to feel guilty about that, but as for me I have always taken my time about it, and rather more than less, it's a job which doesn't deserve to be botched.
The moral of one of the fables of La Fontaine "The lion and the rat" teached us that "Patience and the fullness of time do more than force or fury."
Those who belong to my generation remember the advertisement: "Wonder batteries only run down if you use them." Of course it is a big advantage compared with) the other batteries, but our cock is more efficient, it wears out only if we do not use it. And it reloads itself by itself if we give it the necessary and sufficient time.
My darlings Jean and Pat, yes, I take my time, but I shall not let you wait any longer my best wishes of a wondrous day with lots of bisous.
I would add to the techniques to delay orgasm Bruce Grether's relax-the-pee-stopper-muscle at the base of your cock, based on his observation that you can't pee and come at the same time.
In the early days of 25 years of mindful masturbation I learned to consciously initiate ejaculations (mostly). This has served me well to keep my body charged with erotic energy.
My first tantra teacher at Body Electric said that his tantric master advised him to avoid ejaculation except for procreation and that no man should ejaculate after age 50.
Men have such different sets of problems or issues that we never think about. You wonder how men ever figured all this out in the past without blogs like this. A lot longer learning curve.
Thanks Pat for your education, and French Patrick, hugs and bisous.
I really enjoy your blog. The perspective that you bring is both educational and enticing. Although I'm a bit of an old-timer and my days of sex are in the past, I really think you bring a unique and important aspect to men enjoying their sexuality that I relish reading. I think the fact that you are straight (?) makes it even more interesting. This blog is devoted to educating men about their bodies and sexuality which is an aspect that few people receive more than a minimum of in sex education classes in school. I think that many straight men are unaware of their prostate and its ability to maximize sexual pleasure. Why aren't we instructed on any of this? Why are straight men not always aware of how to please a woman in every way?
Love reading this blog and appreciate the time and effort you spend to maintain. Bravo!
@ Anon - Thank you so much for your kind words. Men are never given the information they should have by either sex ed classes nor their parents. It's sad that we are left to fumble in the dark. I know plenty of straight men read - once in a while a few will leave comments. I hope that, here, they find information to further enjoy what they've been born with. And, that the things which happen to them - such as erections while driving, or needing to stop alongside the road to piss, or having an urgent need to cum - are perfectly normal; they are not alone. It's perfectly normal to look at another man's cock, don't feel guilty about it. Anyway, thanks for reading - and thank you for taking the time to comment.
Oh, yeah...I think I need one of those Fleshjack things. wonder if my dad would buy one for me.
Tantric work is very helpful.
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