Monday, May 8, 2017

Too Used to the Hand?

Jean raised the question, "can you get so used to your own hand that you have trouble having regular sex? Old wives tale probably meant to discourage masturbation, but is it a myth?"
I'll have to say it is a myth...mostly. Yes, that "threat" has been used by all sorts, but particularly religious leaders who want men to only use their cocks for procreation. To them, our genitals are not meant to be enjoyed for pure pleasure.

Now, to explain "mostly." It's usually because we crave variety that we may experience trouble getting and keeping a boner. But, there are the occasional complaints by men who have trouble ejaculating during penetrative vaginal sex. It can be typically attributed to a lack of stimulation. The glans (head) is the most sensitive part of the penis. But, if there is no friction against it, there isn't enough stimulation to get to a level of arousal for ejaculation.

The reason may be twofold: The amount of lubrication prohibits sensation, and/or the tightness surrounding the penis. Add his precum to his partner being too wet and....
When this happens, a man will either get frustrated and lose his erection, or pull out and use his hand to stroke himself with a firm enough grip 

 and enough stimulation to the head to achieve ejaculation
thus making folks believe that he can't cum with "regular sex."
With vaginal penetration, the issue of a man's partner being too wet can be solved. She can squeeze down each time he withdraws, and let up with each thrust. And he can squeeze his buttocks against the prostate when he thrusts. If that doesn't solve the problem for him, then there are simple OTC medicinal alternatives. Any anti-histamine, such as Benadryl, will assist in slowing down the secretions - for either partner.
A man needs the physical stimulation to remain hard and achieve orgasm. Not being able to ejaculate is not only frustrating mentally, it can result in a serious case of Blue Balls, sometimes referred to as Lover's Nuts. Through jacking off, he is able to provide himself with the proper amount of friction to cum.

Have you or a partner ever faced the difficulty of not being able to cum with the need to switch to masturbation?


SickoRicko said...

I've noticed that if things are too slick, there's less stimulation.

Patrick said...

Thanks for your visit and comment! Thought you might like the dancers! Another great post! I'm sure that you are a great help to many people with all your sharing. Of course there are the "images" too! Thanks & Hugs!

Jean WM said...

A lot I didn't know. Thanks for all the info, whew, it's amazing we ever make it happen at all!! Bisous to French Patrick, and our French friends on their new President.

Xersex said...


T said...

Yep. There are times where you just cant finish. When your young and it happens its frustrating as what the hell do you do. No one has told you that you may not cum but everyone is telling you you have to blow your load. Its another thing where you get told nothing about anything.

Your early years you just get told nothing but second hand bullshit. If a guy has an erection he wants sex. If a girl shows a bit of cleavage she is a slut. What crap is that??

There is more to the pleasure/procreation thing and its long and complicated. If I get the time may email it but it is interesting and does make you question all the issues we have now with regards to sexual health.

Fullmoonma said...

Almost nobody knows how to work my cock as well as I do - one Body Electric teacher who massages me occasionally comes to mind!

Back in the days when I was coming as the culmination of each erotic encounter I only once did so while topping, and no more than a half a dozen times while being sucked. I've been jerked off many times, but usually when I come with a partner it's my hand that's on my cock.

My cock has only been inside a vagina a couple of times, and it certainly felt wonderful and I wonder if I would have come if I had permission in the encounters.

Masturbation certainly has been my usual route to peak erotic experiences - well that and submitting to the joy of having a hard cock in my body, and the infrequent blowing my load in a soft coaxing mouth, and long long massage trades, and.... well you get the picture.

Back to the discussion question - I just don't know if my masturbation practice has made it more difficult to achieve ejaculation with partners, or if that situation resulted in my developing my skills with my own hands. It's probably just the way I am wired for pleasure? Looking back on 60+ years of eroticism my only regret is the lost opportunities of my 20's before I came out as a gay man - because sharing erotic times with others can be wonderful and seems to charge up my following masturbation sessions.

whkattk said...

@ T - Email, please. It will help other guys - and that's what we're about here.