Monday, April 22, 2019

Lose the Death Grip

It will be May soon. That means a month-long celebration of masturbation. We honor Joycelyn Elders who was fired for suggesting that "masturbation should, perhaps, be taught" in college. That was said during a private conversation, not a lecture or speech.
Anyway, to prepare for Masturbation Month, I thought it might be a good idea to revisit the dreaded "Death Grip." What is that? It's grasping the shaft tight to apply heavier stimulation. It may work for jacking off but, in the long run, it can make it more difficult to cum - especially with a partner.

You want to learn to loosen that grip? Follow these 6 tips from Sarah Martin, MA, CSC, in this article from Medium:

Step 1: Set the mood when you masturbate
Make sure you have plenty of time. There's no need to rush this. You're not a teenager anymore - you don't have to worry about being "caught."
Step 2: From now [on], start using lube
Lube helps with sensitivity. Coconut oil is becoming the lube of choice for a lot of guys. It's cheaper than the stuff sold intended as sexual lubricants, and there's no need to hide it from anyone. I know a lot of men use spit. It's not as slick and doesn't last very long.

Step 3: Use a light touch.
Loosen the grip. The lube will help you with this. Allow your hand to glide along the cock, rather than pulling on the skin of the shaft.
Step 4: Focus on what you feel
This is what I mean when promoting "mindful masturbation." Focus on the sensations you're creating, revel in them, enjoy them. And remember to change things up a bit.

Step 5: Patience
If you find yourself falling back into the old patterns in order to cum, that's okay. Better luck next time. Try, try again. Practice makes perfect.
Step 6: Remember your frenulum
Oh, that little stretch of skin on the underside connecting the shaft to the head. That wonderful sweet spot. Spend some time with it.

Get back to the enjoyment.

7 comments:

SickoRicko said...

Fabulous post!

Your French Patrick said...

A quote from Jean Anouilh "The pleasure we feel alone is a half pleasure, the sorrow we feel alone is a double pain."
Masturbation is called "the lonely pleasure", both in French and in English, but you know better than any of us, and you are the best qualified to relate that we may share this pleasure even outside of May so as to turn it into a double (or more) "half pleasure".
My fondest hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.

JeanWM said...

I know a lot of the pictures are posed, but is there some reason that guys elevate their feet really high, does that make any difference? Or is that just posing? Hugs and big bisous to French Patrick.

Gabriel said...

And edging is good. Keep taking it to almost that point of no return and then relax some.

JoyLovePeaceHappiness said...

I use coconut oil for my dick and dildo lube. And remember, you don't have to ejaculate every time. I jerk off about 5 - 6 times everyday and don't cum but 3 times a week. I just do it because it feels so damn good, and I love having an erection.
Like everyone else I love to feel my balls bounce up and down, but sometimes I place the base of my dick between my first and second fingers palm and thumb on the sweet triangle and slide up and down the shaft without moving the skin with my other hand.
Remember, the only safe sex is in the palm of your hand. Enjoy!

whkattk said...

@ Jean - I suspect most of it is just posing. The legs spread wide is to allow the balls more room to move with any motion. That adds to the sensations, which is why we love to have our balls played with. :-)

Anonymous said...

I think it is hilarious that most of the “tips for men” articles are written by women. Where did they get their info.