But here's the dilemma. He's got two younger sisters. How do I get him to understand he can't drop trou and jerk off anytime an erection strikes? And how do I get the girls to understand what's going on if he does?"
Um.... I don't know anything about raising a special needs child, but I know that mental capacity has no bearing whatsoever on the sexual maturity of the body. He's going to get boners - lots of them. You need to find a way to communicate that he should be in his bedroom to take care of them.
I can only suggest you do an internet search on keywords, like "sexual development in special needs children;" perhaps, a talk with his pediatrician. If he's enrolled in school, you need to let the staff there know what's going on. Depending on the experience of the teachers, they will have dealt with this before and know how to handle it. Still, I'd caution you to keep a very close eye on them - for a while, anyway; it's too easy for adults to take advantage of kids like your son, or treat them poorly.
As for the twins...I'm clueless as to what to tell them should one, or both, suddenly see their brother stroking his cock.
Any suggestions, Readers?
12 comments:
I would just try to explain and stress this can't be done in public but rather private, only because special needs children can be very in the moment quick and reactive. Otherwise I dont know, this one is out of a jurisdiction kid.
that's a problem!!!
I agree with your advice - he needs to seek professional advice and the advice from a variety of parents of special needs children - I say variety because you have to take into account the wide variety of attitudes toward anything sexual. He needs to make sure the advice comes from people who have a healthy perspective on sexuality. I hope you are having a lovely day, my Friend. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
I'm stumped. I don't envy the man's situation. Talking to professionals could be the best place to start.
Sorry! No! How is that eye now? Cold southerly wind this morning!
It is quite simple: we have to take into consideration the fact (among others) that we are alone, or with relatives, or with friends, or with strangers. It is a universal law that your reader has to apply and has to teach and to ensure respect by his son (special needs or not), and his daughters (twins or not). The modesty does not involve the prudery. As for me, if I were feeling the need to consult about this kind of problem, I would address a pediatrician rather than the Web.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
It's too bad the writer didn't tell us the children's ages. My advice on what to tell the girls depends on how old they are. I agree with you, the son should be helped to understand that it's ok to play with himself but only in the bathroom or his bedroom with the door closed. The girls should be told to respect their brothers privacy. Please knock before entering.
All part of being a family. This is where the parents take the leader ship, and don’t pass up an opportunity. Hugs and bisous!
And vote early!
Go to amazon.com and do a book search for both "special needs and puberty" or "autism and puberty" and a whole list of titles come up. Some are for girls, some are for boys (What's Happening to Tom), others are abou the whole topic.
Special needs children can be a hand full. The best advice is to keep communicating - strive that, though it feels really really good and makes you feel really incredible afterwards, that it should be something done in private.
Perhaps emphasize masturbation in more associative, understandable terms that it is a natural body function, and like peeing and pooping, and (at this stage in development) is something that is generally not shared beyond the bathroom or bedroom. That might stave off the urge for him to just start jerking off in the living room.
@ Fluffy - thanks for posting that suggestion. I didn't even think to search for help through Amazon.
With the girls, all they need to know is that their brother is at an age now where he will want to spend time on his own and values his personal space more. When they get to his age they will want the same too.
With the son; disability or not he is still going to develop as normal. Especially sexually. If you have a PCA in the home you bring it up with them as they have the training on how to approach it. If not you can bring it up with a qualified doctor on what you can do. In the meantime you just tell the son that jerking off is something that he and the dad can do and where he can do it without being embarrassed. Treat him as normal.
My mother was a PCA for special needs patients at home. When it comes to sex you treat them as you would anyone else. They still need to know what is acceptable and what is not and the responsibility that they have themselves.
Just because they are disabled does not mean they wont ever experience anything sexual.
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