Porn Addiction

This Is Life with Lisa Ling, on CNN, is always an interesting show. If you haven't seen an episode, she takes on one topic and covers it in depth over the hour. Last night's show was on Porn Addiction, and her main interview was with Alexander Rhodes, founder of NoFap.com. Now, despite what you may have heard - or read - it is not an anti-masturbation site.

Reddit NoFap (among others) is the anti-masturbation movement and hijacked the term, which is why/how NoFapNovember - or NoNutNovember as it is sometimes called - was created.

The real website is to help men overcome an addiction to porn. How do you know if you're addicted? As with any other addiction: It takes over your life. Completely. Here are some warning signs of Porn Addiction.

Do you find you:

• Cannot get a full erection without seeing sexually explicit photos or videos
• Cannot perform sexually with a partner
• Cannot remain in the moment during partner sex
• Cannot masturbate without looking at sexually explicit photos or video
• Cannot engage in either partner sex or masturbation without at least fantasizing about photos or videos you've seen

 There is nothing wrong with masturbating. It is normal. It is healthy.

There is nothing wrong with masturbating while viewing sexually explicit media

as long as you don't allow it to take over your life.

Thoughts on Friendship

Thank you so much for the well-wishes. I feel a bit better today. Not 100%, but better. Friendships can do that.

A reader asked me to dedicate a post entirely to BuddyBate. (I will.) Then I popped over to AOM to read his post, which beautifully expresses the importance and joy of friendship. I commented on AOM's post:

Whether it is being naked playing a game, chilling out in quiet reflection, romping around in fun, or jerking off together, the friendship - open and honest friendship - between men is a treasure beyond riches of gold or gems. I wish we had more of that in the world around us. 

That expresses what I have always looked for in a friendship; nudity not required. Yet, some genuine friendships formed during naked times. It is so much easier to bare your soul when you've bared your body.

It all goes right along with an email from another reader.

"This guy and me have been best friends since high school. He recently came over and said how much he missed those days and asked if we might go back to being like that. Bottom line, we got naked, we stroked together but he went further and sucked my dick. It was something we'd never done back then. He kept pushing my face into his and I just couldn't do it. At the end of the night everything seemed normal and fine. Two weeks have gone by and he hasn't answered or returned my calls. What is his problem and how do I fix it?"

I can't know what's in your friend's head. Maybe he's angry you didn't reciprocate, maybe he's feeling guilty about things, maybe he's feeling weird about his own budding fluidity (you didn't say, I'm assuming he's always thought of himself as straight).

Forget the calls. Go see him. Take him out for a drink. Talk. Let him know that whatever it is that has kept him silent is okay - you miss your friend and you're there for him no matter the circumstances.

What are your thoughts on friendship?

Late Bloomer

Well, I'm here but feeling crappy.... It feels like a Summer cold hitting me. I always have been a late-bloomer.

So, I'll just leave you with these:

 

Bi-Visibility Day

I saw this last week, had planned to post it yesterday, then promptly forgot. My apologies.

As any bi-guy who has indulged in a buddy-bating session can tell you, it can make a huge difference to be able to openly express attraction for another man. That said, I'm going to let a very sincere blog post do the explaining.

Bi-visibility Day was September 23. There's a fantastic blog post over on The Bator Blog (a blog sponsored by Bateworld): Masturbation Celebration, Masturbation Has No Orientation.

The continuing saga of the eyesight continues tomorrow. I'll be back on Thursday.