As Jean said in her comment on the May 18th post,
"Silence seems to be passed on through the generations. Nothing from my parents. Also there's a big difference between learning about reproduction and learning about "sex." Yes they go together but they are very separate subjects. If there was any discussion in school or by parents, it tends to be more about the reproduction side."
She's correct. The typical discussion never makes mention of erections, penetration, or ejaculation.
"Your post from the 18th is spot on. My twin and I walked in on our dad one day while he was jerking off. My brother asked what he was doing so he told us. He didn't stutter or anything he was just straightfroward about it all."
"Learned about it from kids at school, but got caught by my dad and he was very cool about it. I wasn't really doing it "right" (I wasn't wrapping my hand around it, more like holding it by my finger tips). Without being weird or creepy, he said "oh man, ok, well sorry for walking in! Uh, try it like this (hand gestures), it'll feel WAY better"."
"My father never said anything about it, but I did talk about masturbation with my sons at an appropriate age (nearly 40 years ago). I told them how to do it and encouraged them to regard it as normal. I thought it was doubly important to make my attitudes clear because I was their Vicar as well as their father."
It's such a normal, natural part of life, it makes no sense that anyone should have to be embarrassed to talk about it, or to admit to enjoying it.
Sons shouldn't have to hide it from their fathers.
And guys shouldn't afraid to admit to it with one another.
15 comments:
My father never said anything about sex. He didn't talk to me about anything. Mom insinuated that sex was dirty. I got the feeling that she only did it as her Christian duty and it was a chore. Sex was something to be kept hidden. To get over my inhibitions I became a nudist. They are probably dizzy rolling over in their graves.
Masturbation is just such a dirty little secret.
Everybody does it. Boys, Girls, Non-Binary people, Allos, Aces, everybody.
It's that puritan, Abrahamic bullshit that keeps people from enjoying themselves.
XOXO
Absolutely!
As I have said in previous comments, my dad was completely open about jacking off. When I hit about age 16 we jacked off together, and took care of each other. We covered hetero and homo activities in our conversations, no hemming or hawing or stuttering. Ha made no bones about enjoying the sexual company of men, and made it clear that he loved me. The fact that we expressed our love physically never troubled either of us.
I suspect that at least in the UK, if a man masturbated with his sons when they were under 16 he would be convicted of sexual assault and required to sign the sex offenders register. This might also cause him to lose his job.
Of course Jean is right. I don't think she would be able to be wrong, even if she wanted to.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a a great Thuesday.
What's really sad about this discussion is we should be relieved that we are finally moving in the right direction, but you get the sense that our country is making a U-turn and now going backwards.
Who knows, years in the future sites like this Blog will disappear completely. Thank you Pat for the work you do. And at the end of this day, another disaster for the country to mourn.
Hugs and bisous Pat and French Patrick and all the posters. .
I have completely lost anything I was going to say after that second gif cock sprang out of the jeans and hit me in the chin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh, a boxer sniffer! The best kind of bators to share a house with. Kizzes.
The reticence over sex makes a lot of sense: it was reviled as anything but a way to procreate and do your duty for so long that even masturbation was considered an evil in history and diabolical devices conceived to prevent it (including Mr. Kellog inventing a cereal breakfast because he thought masturbation was a result of malnutrition).
That it still carries that stigma is testament to the inertia of tradition and habit when not questioned.
It is also tragic that we still think that preventing children knowing the truth will protect them from abuse, when omission is a kind of abuse itself as it creates them naive about the real world they will encounter and thus more vulnerable to what is abuse and what is not.
Nudity and sex seem bound up together when they are separate things but with a connection. I think the issue is that we have created the sight of naked flesh as an indicator of sexual interest, when although it can be an arousal vector, sexual interest should be signaled via a different mechanism, but we are lazy and so we have this problem with showing children natural nakedness because we think it is about sex.
There has to be a way to educate children about their bodies without parents forcing themselves on them from a sexual perspective, but which leaves open the possibility of children wanting to explore further with them being in control of what they see and being able to develop an identity with a role model. It's unfortunate that people are so ashamed of sexuality that we can't even have discussions about appropriate ways to go forward and standardised guidelines that parents can use.
> And guys shouldn't afraid to admit to it with one another. <
Or to give each other a hand!
@ jimboylan2 - Exactly!
@ Anon - You make many excellent points!
@ Six - Ain't that the truth. It seems religion fucks up everything. XOXO
Okay, a quick note about Kellogg; It wasn't malnutrition, but excess protein. Basically, protein, unlike fat and sugar, contains nitrogen, which is where his ideas came from, somehow.
He also popularized circumcision to prevent masturbation. Not he first doctor to recommend it, one Lewis Sayre claimed it cured paraplegic boys a few decades prior..l But certainly l the first to recommend chemical clitoridectomy.
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