Wank Warnings V

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And, so we come to the final wanking warning from the good folks of Men's Health. And, it's no April Fool's joke. Yes, we've covered this one before, too. Quite recently, I might add. And the reaction was much as I anticipated it would be, so I shall save you all the anguish of repeating the photos. The text shall suffice.

5: Wrongfully stuffed

"Do not stuff things into your penis. Maybe that seems obvious, but if case reports are any indication, at least one guy reading this will have decided it was a good idea to cram something into his urethra to stimulate himself during masturbation. Unbelievably, two different men decided independently that feeding stiff electrical wire into their wangs while spanking the monkey was a good idea. One of the guys pushed the wire so far down his shaft that it coiled in his bladder. In both cases, doctors had to perform surgery to remove the wire. Miraculously, both men fully recovered."

Kink is fine, folks. Just be cautious with those cocks. As I've said before, you only get one. Handle it with tender loving care. As one Faithful Reader put it, "Be good to your junk and it'll be good to you."

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Welcome to April, btw.

Wank Warnings IV

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I hope everyone had a great relaxing weekend. I'm pretty sure you all got in some good healthy stroke sessions. 

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And, with a little bit of warmer weather, some may have taken a nice leisurely drive...

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If not this past weekend, have you done that? I have - plenty of times. It's one of my favorite things to do, especially if I'm going long distances. In my younger days I had a convertible and I'd make the 11-hour drive home with my pants on the seat next to me. There would be the occasional horn blast from truckers and I'd wave.

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I always worried about accidents, though. What would people think to find out I'd been cruising down the highway naked and stroking my cock, blasting a load of cum?

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So, I was always extra cautious. On the one hand, it's kind of nice to know that it's such a very common thing for guys to do. On the other, it's not good that so many aren't being more careful about it.

4: Whacking on Wheels

"Penile fractures aren't always the result of a too-enthusiastic hand motion. According to various case studies detailed in the Canadian Urological Association Journal, multiple men have broken their penises while masturbating in moving cars. (The vehicle stopped suddenly, causing a collision between the penis and steering wheel or dashboard.) Also making the study's list: Breaking the penis by hitting it against the wall of a shower—presumably after slipping while masturbating—and hitting the side of a cocktail shaker too forcefully while trying to masturbate into it. (For this last one, no further circumstantial details were provided, unfortunately.)"

Take more care in stroking those boners, boys. Things can go awry in an instant - and typically it's the instant you cum. It's a good feeling to drive around naked or with your hard cock poking up out of your pants. But, keep your wits about you when you've got your cock in your hand.

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Maybe pull over and get more comfortable when you're ready to cum.

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Wank Warnings III

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My old military buddy told me once during a bar conversation that, as he was cumming, he had to tell his wife "Stop squeezing so hard!" because she was cutting off the flow of his jizz. He said it created somewhat of a burning sensation in his cock as his cum tried to valiantly jettison through.

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Though he didn't have any ill-effects afterward, evidently clamping down too hard on your hard-on can do some damage if you aren't careful.

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#3 Don't Strangle Your Snake

"Though usually associated with vigorous sex, one comprehensive review study in the journalTrauma and Acute Care Surgery found just 19 percent of penile fractures—a.k.a., broken penises—occur during sex. A whopping 60 percent happen while men are masturbating. The most common cause? "Angulation and manual compression," according to the study. Basically, guys were squeezing too hard and stroked down at the wrong angle, causing a rupture of their rod's corpus cavernosa—the cylindrical tubes that fill with blood when you have an erection. Swelling and leaking, as well as a dozen other complications, can cause permanent loss of function, though typically the condition is fixable, the study authors say."

Now, I know we've had the busted shaft discussion before. But this is different, this isn't a cracking of the Tunica - this is a rupture of the canvernosa, which the Tunica surrounds. I was not aware men broke their dicks so often while pounding their peckers. So, be careful guys. You don't want to break your boner.

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Watch the angle and loosen that grip on the downward stroke

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when you're trying to bust nut

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Well Met

Because I knew I'd be in the air, I wrote this and scheduled it.

Over the past two weekends, I met and made friends with a woman who is a sexologist. As you can imagine, we had lots to talk about. Not the least of which was jerking off because it was the subject of her Master's Thesis! More succinctly, why is it so much more acceptable for males and why they seem to be so comfortable with it. Not admitting it publicly (though we are getting batter about that), but the fact is well known that we guys will play and stroke at pretty much any opportunity. I had many, many "Brava's" to dole out to her. As well as her boyfriend who seemed quite comfortable with the subject at hand and joined the conversation.

The main reason, which we agreed on, is because from the day we begin potty training we're touching and handling our cocks multiple times a day. Then, of course, there's bathing and otherwise keeping it clean - particularly if we haven't been cut.

One thing I missed tossing into the discussion was the fact that men develop so many spontaneous hard-ons. Recently, I've read a few studies which claim our "pajama pythons" - those night time erections (but, you don't wear jammies, do you? I certainly hope not!) - are caused by sexual dreams; that those waking ones are because our trouser trouts have been roused from slumber by some sexual stimulus.  Bullshit! If you dig deep enough, you discover those "studies" have been done, or have been paid for by religious do-gooder organizations in an attempt to throw us all back into the dark ages. I can say for a fact, I've woken plenty of times with my cock harder than a steel bedpost and remember dreaming of something as mundane as work.

Medical science has proven our dicks bone up because they need the oxygen in the blood. But, regardless, we can't deny that when our staffs get stiff we usually notice. Our tally-whackers talk to us - indeed they do. And the fact is, our boners can become pretty damn insistent. They nag and nag until we grab 'em by the throat.

So, it only makes sense that all those hard-ons - up to 11 during the day and up to 9 when we're asleep - will affect us, if for no other reason than trying to push, pull, or prod them into a more comfortable position. Interacting with 20 boners in a 24-hour period will indeed make a guy more comfortable in dealing with them. And, since charming the one-eyed snake can be so pleasurable, well... as the saying goes, you do the math. Is it any wonder we'll get a good grip on 'em pretty much any time, anywhere we can?

and choke 'em into submission.