Congratulations

💘 HAPPY ST. VALENTINE'S DAY 💘

 

"Way back in November I asked about ways to increase my swimmers so I wouldn't have to do the IVF jack off. You posted suggestions. it didn't work. The clinic was all women not a dude to be found. I swear it took forever to get a hard-on let alone manage to cum with women wandering around the hall. It sure would be a lot less embarrassing if a guy handed the cup and gave instructions. Let's hope this takes because I don't think I could do that again."

I get it. Really. Back in my early 30s I had to go in for a sperm count. And, yeah, a female nurse handed me the cup, gave me instructions. (Wash your hands first. Don't get any KY on or in the cup. Bring it back to me as soon as you're done.) Then she pointed to the restroom. Took me a long time, too. But, realize: back then guys had to do the deed sitting on a commode in the men's room.... Yeah, yeah, okay, it's pretty common now. But, back then, there was no porn for inspiration and the pressure to cum was immense.

Certainly, no cell phones.

'Course, back then, IVF clinics weren't a thing. And jerking off wasn't talked about - except in jokes with your buddies - it was something you denied doing. The circle jerks in the barracks notwithstanding.

Barren Boys, or an extremely low count, meant adoption if you were determined to be parents. Turned out I shoot blanks and would've been spared the second round of (bordering on) public masturbation had IVF been common.

It's easier now. Now, clinics provide a decent, more relaxed and comfortable environment. Instructions are (usually) taped somewhere in the room. Some even provide computers with large screens for watching porn, tube of lube laid out.

Or at least a

rack with magazines.

WiFi for cell-phone porn if there's no computer provided.

According to Vice, some clinics even go so far as to provide Virtual Reality porn to help guys.

But, Congratulations! you did the deed. And I bet your wife couldn't think of a better Valentine gift.

You have every reason to be proud. I have confidence in you that, if required, you'll be able to pull it off again (pun intended). And have a much easier time of it.

And, I might add, ejaculation isn't (ordinarily) physically painful. Harvesting ovum is.

Couldn't resist that.

IVF Jack Off

 

No, it's not Buddy Ball Check again.

"Is there anything anything a guy can do to increase his number of swimmers? Going to the lab for a jizz test was bad enough but now I have to go pound one out at the fertility clinic? Please tell me theres some alternative to this whole IVF jack-off shit."

According to two different articles over at Healthline, there are ways to improve things in the world of male fertility. You will, most likely, roll your eyes when you read them because men's sexual health touts them for all manner of boner issues. But what have you got to lose?

Article 1: 10 Ways to Boost Male Fertility and Increase Sperm Count.

Article 2: How to Increase Sperm Count: 7 Tips for Sperm Health.

Both suggest: Lose Weight / Exercise / Take Your Vitamins / Avoid Substance Abuse / Check your Environment / Have Your Bike Checked / Cotton Briefs

Those last two might sound foreign. If you bicycle at all, get the proper seat! One that is specifically made for men to avoid crushing the perineum and/or testicles.

All-Cottom briefs will allow for better air flow to The Boys. Manmade materials can trap and retain heat and cause problems with sperm health because your balls get too warm.

If your other half doesn't agree to let you try those things, or if those things don't help, you'll just have to suck it up and go to that clinic and "pound one out."

And, really, what's the big deal? They'll hand you a cup and send you down the hall to a room with magazines for inspiration for you to do the deed. It's a pretty common thing. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be IVF. Plus, you're a guy, and everyone knows guys jack off.

So, if you have to do it, hold your head high, accept the cup and stroll down that hall with confidence and pride.

Cared For As Such

An Anonymous left a comment last week asking if the reports were true regarding the COVID-19 and men's fertility. I am happy to say that the initial report out of China has been removed from the web.

Here's what an article in BioNews had to say about the situation:

The initial report, "which was published on the Hubei government's website and widely shared on Chinese social media before being retracted, claimed that men who had contracted and recovered from the disease should seek medical advice to determine whether the virus had affected their fertility."

That report was based on past fertility issues in patients of the SARS virus - which is also a type of coronavirus. In speaking to "Newsweek, Professor Allan Pacey, a leading expert in male fertility at the University of Sheffield, emphasised that the article is a 'short discussion' paper that has not been peer-reviewed and 'highly theoretical.'

'It is intended to alert the medical and scientific community to the possible impact COVID-19 may have on the male reproductive system,' he said.

If you might be trying to father children, it might be a good idea to have a simple semen analysis. "Those who have tested positive for the coronavirus and concerned about their fertility should discuss this with their family doctor, Professor Pacey suggested. Men can have a 'relatively simple' semen analysis three months after infection. [bold is mine]

The tests may be more valuable for experts looking at the potential link between coronavirus and male fertility on a population-wide scale."

Many things can have an effect of male fertility. The male apparatus is a highly complex system.

It should be cared for as such.