"My eleven year old son and I were out at the store when some dude walked by in a tshirt with a saying on it about boners. I heard my son stifle a laugh as the guy walked by. Is it too soon to have the talk and instruct him on jerking off?"
Obviously he knows what a boner is or he wouldn't have laughed.
So, I'd say, no, it's not too soon --- it's perfect timing. And he's given you the perfect excuse and opportunity to teach him about his body, and what he can expect over the next six to ten years.
The perpetual hard-ons,
the super boners,
that masturbation is not only natural and normal but healthy. You should encourage that because he can learn what feels good to him and learn to control his ejaculations.
I'd be totally remiss if I did not also suggest that you talk to his doctor about the HPV vaccine before your son becomes sexually active with others. And that you or his doctor instruct him and get him into the habit
of doing the monthly Ball Check.
19 comments:
Oh, that boy knows.
I knew about sex at thirteen. And the sooner he makes sex natural, the better.
XOXO
Nobody cares about your stupid boner…
I have to admit that I have never been able, in my face to face with a boner, to tell a stupid boner from a brilliant boner. It is true that I rarely spoke with them to test their intelligence.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a great day.
Great question and great answers.
mmhhh if I have to tell the truth, when I was a teenager, I was so shy ....
however I masturbated so much that an erection for no reason would have been impossible in muy body.
How could I have possibly missed the Monday funnies to start my week! I'll try to keep up better. I guess I get a reprieve today since I don't need a ball check. hugs and bisous.
He should also talk about sex and self esteem and to not get too hung up about size. Consent. Saying NO. And how to avoid creeps on line! Safety!
Teach Your Children...
It's a shame that not all fathers teach their sons. I'm pretty-much self-taught. I never received any religious instructions telling me that playing pocket-pool was a bad thing. But no one exactly explained the rules!
The guys I grew up around and I did some experimenting, but although there were times when we were not likely to be interrupted, and could enjoy stroking (and sometimes stroking each other), there was a strong feeling that adults wouldn't take kindly to guys playing with themselves. Or each other!
Now, unfortunately, most dads might teach about the equipment and how it works, and how to man the pump, but they get squeamish if Jr. talks about two guys pumping at the same time or pumping each other. But, as they say, youthful experimentation does not guarantee a life as a homosexual! But it does make for some strong bonds of brotherhood among two or more young men!
I think your correspondent should take this opportunity and have 'the talk' with his son. Discuss the 'boner shirt.' Ask him how long he's known about jerking off. He'll probably be embarrassed, so go gently. Next step is asking if he's had an ejaculation yet. From there, you move on to what exactly is he ejaculating, where it comes from, the fact that it can make a baby if he's having fun with a lady. Thence the anatomy of both sexes.
And, at the end of the discussion, make sure he understands that if he and a buddy want to experiment, it's perfectly OK-- just don't get it on the furniture!
--PaulMmn
PS-- who's the guy in the short red shorts? Looks like he has a load to unload! (:
--PaulMmn
Eleven years old was my age when I jerked off for the first time. (I'm 34 now)
I had not the talk and was not instructed on jerking off. I didn't even know what jerking off or masturbate was. My school colleagues talked all the time about jerking off, but I was too much ingenuous to understand what they meant.
In other words, I jerked off for the first time (and later) without knowing I was jerking off! I discovered it all by myself, quite "accidentally". Nobody teached me.
So, I don't think that it's too soon. I agree that is the right time.
Some guys had a bad reaction to the HPV vaccine. Think twice about advocating it.
My total agreement here. The Taoists instructed young ones on this ART of masturbating with mindfulness and seed retention, giving the chance for energy releases within the body. I am working on a project at the moment precisely on this matter. Am working on the finale phase so hoping to post it soon.
Good advice my broether!
I was already jerking my cock at 11 years but I would have been mortified if my father had tried to discuss it! But maybe the 2020's are different than the 1950's?
@ MFP - LOL! Thank you for the laugh! Hugs and bisous.
@ Upton - Absolutely. Those components are equally important - if not more so.
@ Anon, November 9, 2021 at 8:02 PM - There is always a percentage of people who will have an adverse reaction to any pharmaceutical. That is how and why we get the list of side effects. Having my brother and a very good friend both have to deal with HPPV-related cancers, well...maybe that's why I advocate for people to talk to their doctors about it.
@ Jean - The ones you sent will be coming up in the cue in the next few weeks. Hugs and bisous.
My dad had the talk with me when I was about 10. I already knew most of what he told me by then, but it was good that he did. We bonded better after that. He never mentioned about checking the balls - long before testicular cancer was acknowledged publicly - but he did teach me the importance of checking the foreskin and keeping it clean. His older brother had had to be circumcised later in life for reasons I was never told, but to this day when I learn a friend has a foreskin I always mention the importance of cleanliness. Our genitals are beautiful, and deserve our full attention.
Thank you for your ongoing health concern for us men.
Def it is time for dad to have "that" talk with the son about boners, growing up, and masturbation. I'm just sorry that the picture of the t-shirt at the top of this thread includes the word "stupid". No boner is stupid, but i guess it's referring to SOME people's attitudes to a stiffie.
Many boys discover masturbation and orgasm by accident when quite young, before they can even ejaculate. It's my understanding that these guys have a greater ability to experience multiple orgasms in later years because they already know what it feels like from their earlier experiments, so they have a target.
I experienced this at a young age, for a short period of time, although I can't remember how young now, but in my case it was laced with terrible guilt that I was doing something forbidden and it further affected masturbation and acceptance of my orientation in later years. My Father never explained anything beyond the basic mechanics of the birds and bees.
With hindsight, I am disappointed that most Fathers never broach this subject early enough, if at all, for all boys to have the opportunity of experiencing pleasure without ejaculation and perhaps setting the scene for easier multiple orgasms in later life, regardless if they stumble on this by accident. However, I am not confident that male adults have lost their own feelings of guilt or embarassment about sex as it tends to propagate through the generations by sins of the fathers being visited on the sons and we still vigorously oppose any early sex education of boys, because we are afraid of "corrupting" them, even though many become sexual naturally since the magic peanut is so readily accessible.
Therefore, I really hope modern Fathers are better able to dismiss their own remaining feelings of guilt and educate their sons about their body's potential at an early enough age for it to be useful and dispel any guilt their own sons might feel.
I also wonder if infant circumcision feeds into boys sexual development (or retardation) as it is a significant trauma associated with the penis and removal of the natural foreskin covering also must affect natural sensitivity.
@Paul, although I hadn't "the talk", I always was told to keep my foreskin clean. By the way, it was when I was trying to clean my foreskin with more care than usual that I learned to play with my dick and discovered the masturbation.
Post a Comment