Morning
"We considered our marriage to be one not just lovers but of best friends. The sex was great we could tell each other anything. My husband has suddenly become sullen and withdrawn. He will flinch if I try to initiate sex. I mean really flinch. I don't think he's even masturbating at least there's no evidence of that. And he won't tell me what's going on. Any help would be appreciated."
Oh, my. Did he get fired or laid off from his job? Those are both common causes for men to become despondent and depressed. If that isn't the case, you must find out what happened to him.
To actually flinch from touch may be an indication of sexual assault, and it could be recent or it could have happened years or even decades ago. Sometimes memories will surface. Even the current issues of the Epstein stuff could trigger memories of abuse that have been buried.
And, yes, men can be sexually assaulted and abused. It's a very difficult thing for men to admit and is quite underreported because men are often not believed, or worse: ridiculed.
You need to be patient, and you need to be gentle in your probing for explanations to his recent change in behavior. There are websites that might help him --- and you --- understand and take steps to help him. A licensed therapist might be able to help. If he resists, don't pressure him into it --- go yourself.
I hope you can help him. But show him as much understanding and love as you can, and support him the best as you can.
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