"We've been together since the lockdown started. Everything is good except when I wake up with a log during the night and want to have sex. She pushes me away. I've never complained but I will run one off so I can get back to sleep. Then she says it hurts her feelings. I mean what am I supposed to do? What would you or any readers here do?"
Guys get so many erections every night that it's not unusual for a boner to wake a guy up --- sort of. Half asleep, we'll adjust it and go right back to dreamland. But there are times when the cock just keeps nagging. Those are the nights when an ejaculation definitely helps. You need your sleep, too. And orgasms are an acknowledged sleep aid.
If you're waking her up with every hard-on, well I can see how that would be annoying. However, the occasional accommodation shouldn't hurt.
But if she refuses, in my book, she doesn't have grounds for complaint. My suggestion is, if a boner wakes you and won't leave you alone....
If she pushes you away, that's giving you tacit permission to jack off.
15 comments:
I have heard that from many of my straight friends, and as I always say to them..."you did nothing wrong. You can either suck my dick, give me a hand, or lay there and watch, or go back to sleep, but this is getting taken care of."
If they can't help and feel hurt, then join the fun I say. Cocks are fun!
Excellent advice, and if it doesn't suit her either to admit that it gives your reader the tacit (and even implicit) permission to go jerk off in his corner, I, in his stead, would seriously consider the option consisting in inviting this delicious woman to go to hell with the Greeks.
It's good to be tolerant but as Pierre Dac said: “Even boundaries have limits that cannot be crossed without going beyond them”.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a great weekend.
They need to talk.
Synching libidos is tricky, but talking about what to do when they don't match is fundamental. Like you say, he's hard, she's asleep, he wants to bone, she wants to sleep. When that happens, he should have permission to jerk off.
I know many people see jerking off as 'cheating', but it's bullshit. Could he wait? Well, sometimes he could. Could she go ahead and ride him sometimes? Totally. But when it's not going to happen, he should be able to rub one out. And go back to sleep spooning her.
XOXO
I like Sixpence's answer to the problem.
I honestly can't blame your woman because, during the night, you wake up with an erection and you want to have sex and, for that reason, you wake her up. If I were in her place, I would tell you that she does not offend my feelings, but she certainly disturbs my rest. I specify that I am a gay man and therefore I have the same sexual urgency similar to yours, but I also like to sleep. I don't like being disturbed when I'm sleeping.
If you really can't sleep, masturbate and you will find that you will fall asleep peacefully. -if it bothers her that you masturbate, go to the bathroom and do it there.
If he wakes up with a persistent boner, he should just quietly take care of it. She doesn't have to know.
Hurt her feelings. It's your dick. You don't tell her what to do with her vagina.
We are sovereign beings and being harassed to do something we don't want to do or having an expectation of accommodation is not on, especially if we are disturbing someone just to ask: that's selfish. Equally we do not have a right to just take what we want without consent.
However, sovereign beings do not need permission to do something on their own that only involves themself: that's trying to control someone and is also not on.
It doesn't matter how a woman subjectively feels about a man masturbating, it's none of her business and vice versa, although she might want to consider sex before bed, if she is in the mood, as that generally solves the problem.
If I'm alone I like up and jack out a few dry orgasms. If my husband is sleeping beside me then very rarely I'll jack very quietly under the covers. More likely I'll get up and go into the next room and jack for half an hour or so until I'm totally relaxed. Husband is kind of grumpy if awakened in middle of night. Sometimes he'll awake with a hardon and we'll spoon with the tip of his cock on my very sensitive receptor until he falls asleep again. It was different a dozen years ago!
PS Thanks for the jacking-in-the-dark pix - hard to find them to illustrate my own experiences on my blog.
I definitely get out to play with my dick. Not to blow a load, but just that pleasure you get from it. It also helps sleep. At times I can't wait till the morning comes when I can indulge once more with my jewel. Remember guys, that one that you let go by youlé never get back. So grab that staff of wonder and enjoy the moment.
With my partner when we are together (I work nights he works days) its usually just cuddle if one still asleep. If we both awake then off we go. We both have a dick and they will get hard when we sleep and they will be like that when we wake up. With us its either we can leave them be, jerk off or sex. We have the same parts and they both function the same.
Our friend though (straight and married with kids) completely different. His wife is a nutcase (known her for a long time too). Loves his dick when its convenient for her but if either he cant get it up quick enough or she catches him with his hand around his own dick then its on. She loses her shit at him. Screams at him, accuses him of cheating and yells at him. Times when I have gone over to his work and its just us there he goes into the toilet for a while. Didnt realize what he was doing until I had to go and could hear him jerking off. Waited till he finished and asked him why was he jerking off here for. He said its the only place he can do it. Cant even do that in his own house. His eldest kid is almost at that age where he will start getting them too if he hasnt already. If his dad cant do it then there no hope for him either.
Depending on the relationship you have your going to get different outcomes.
Waking someone up in the middle of the night to have sex is kind of a dick move (ha!). I wouldn't be interested either.
As for not being able to wait, I have a hard time empathizing with that. Sure I wake up with a hard on, but that doesn't mean I'm horny. Get up, take a leak, and it's gone. Go back to bed.
@ T - I've known a number of men whose wives have that reaction to jacking off...and I siply do not understand it. Not at all. As I once said to my wife: It's my cock, I think I can play with it if I want to.
Your friend needs to have a very serious talk with his son to warn him but to also encourage him.
@ Fullmoonma - You're welcome!
It's your tree... Do straight (or narrow?) people really take time for this?
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