There's a new TV ad for a flip phone that uses DaVinci's classic drawing....
And then makes sure the actor's hand is concealing the groin.
Ridiculous considering there is a Vitruvian Action Figure.
Ridiculous that someone along the way in producing the spot decided the genitals in DaVinci's artwork cannot be seen.
Ridiculous when I'd be willing to bet that every five-year old knows that males have bits between the legs.
It's why some guys feel they need to cover themselves.
Even in circumstances where nudity is normal and expected.
Or required.
How old were you when you knew that boys have bits?
Were you taught to be ashamed of them?
18 comments:
I've seen that commercial!
Man, does this post bring back unsettling memories. At least I'm free to discuss them now. Born in 1947, I spent the first 8 years sleeping in an oversized crib in my parent's room, my 2 older sisters sharing the other bedroom. Sex and sexuality were never discussed but should have been because both sisters were knocked up as they said then, and married young. In my crib I remember being put to bed with my arms above the covers and the bedclothes tucked so tightly that making contact with my naughty bits was impossible. I don't recall actually exploring and touching the nether regions until I was 8 and moved into the other bedroom after my sisters had left. Although I'm happy now with what nature gave, the thought of exposing my genitals is still unnerving, just as it was in high school gym class. Thanks for this space to help me continue to heal from my damaging past.
If I have well translated "bits", I was about 15 years old (61 years ago!) and no one noticed that I had noticed.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Have a great day.
Once again, I feel so lucky that my Dad taught me not to ever be ashamed of my cock and sack. We were comfortable naked around each other, even fully erect. Have you been in a men's locker room lately? These guys, mostly the younger ones, act like nobody knows they have a peter or that seeing another man's dong is the end of the world. It's pitiful and silly. I'm not an exhibitionist not a voyeur, but these men are round the bend as far as I'm concerned.
@ Milleson - That is why I do the blog.... May your healing continue.
@ Big Due - Any time in the recent past that I have been to a gym or a day spa I have noticed that same behavior in the younger guys. I always wonder who put such ideas in their heads that they're so ashamed or afraid to be seen. It's very sad indeed. And today's parents hollering about trans people, etc, only make their children grow up afraid of their own bodies.
I agree, and I am amazed too. I spent time with male teen brothers on my holiday and one refused to get dressed in front of the other. I was truly surprised I thought the younger generation was free of all that, have we gone backwards? I think one thing that makes a difference is being in the military. But now I wonder if the same issue comes up with younger men now in the military. Hugs and bisous.
Oh, I knew early.
Boys started showing me their dicks when I was around twelve or thirteen. Before that, I was not even bothered.
XOXO
I grew up with several big brothers and I as taught at an early age by my oldest brother on how to make sure that my bits were cleaned properly. Not in some pervy way, but in a natural educational way. So I knew learned about my bits then.
Because of being from a large family with brothers in various states of undress plus going to the Y quite often to swim, I knew about being a guy. It was natural and so nudity was never a big deal to me.
I was about 7 or 8 when I realized that I had “bits” (les bites en français) between my legs. And that said bits were different from some others (circumcised or not), and not long after that I realized that these bits (and those of others) could be very pleasurable, and fun. I’ve never look back. Life has been great, and I love my “bits”. Paul
E
Well, back on the 70s, there were obviously false claims of Satanic rituals at a preschool. How false? The kids had vivid memories of being sacrificed. "Oi got be'a." These memories involved hidden tunnels under the preschool, sacrifices on highway shoulders and in hot air balloons. Even Biblical figures started showing up: Jesus, Mary, Lucifer, Gabriel, the better-known Apostles (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Paul), Moses, David, and Noah. To a lesser extent, Michael.
In reality, of course, the kids had heard the suggestion of Satanic abuse, and their minds had created this story, which was as real to them as having chicken nuggets yesterday at lunch. But moral panic had already set in.
(Fun fact: This cult obsession hid real dangers. For instance, in Ohio, behind an exurban home, the police had found a collection of animal skulls. Wild animals and strays, no one had reported any missing pets. They assumed cult activity. The home had recently been vacated by a divorcée and her strange teenage son, a bit of a loner. And that boy's name was Jeffrey Dahmer.)
This led to stranger danger, drug dealers, serial killers, pedophiles on every corner. No one questioned how kids could buy drugs, or how anyone would sell child porn, or how these trades were any but the highest-risk ventures. One of my bêtes noires, Lloyd de Mause, made it very clear: Skepticism was proof of guilt. "If you dispute any of this, you are probably a pedophile." Even his fantasies of the Venus of Willendorf being a defloraton device for young girls.
So, with that, you saw a push toward a more repressive sex education. Masturbation was suddenly endotoxic. While men in the 70s were willing to experiment, men in the 80s (especially once AIDS became common knowlwdge) were not. (I still have comics from the early 90s with AIDS PSAs. The third Robin, Tim, claiming it's more common in teenagers; it never was because, well, teens generally have 0-1 heterosexual partners before graduation, and same-sex partners tend to be nonpenetrative things. You can't get AIDS from sharing a stolen Playboy.)
In (I think) 1990, the Supremes laid down a ruling that schools can't force kids to shower. Now, growing up in this time, we all thought mandatory showers were still a thing. But it was gone. Swimming naked at the Y, also gone, though we did swim naked in nature, or on our own property, if we were away from prying eyes. And musicians, at least men, would still perform naked, or nearly so. (When I say "nearly so", I'm talking about the Red Hot Chili Peppers.) That ended with Woodstock 99 and reports of one woman being raped by over fifty guys, with the manager of the whole fiasco saying she should watch herself around so many naked guys (as music festivals were typically where men shed their clothes). Suddenly, male nudity, far from vulnerable, was itself a threat.
Keeping in that vein, when I moved to the city and started school,I noticed locker rooms having individual showers, urinals with partitions. Population centers change first. Before this, urinals rarely had partitions, I went through K-12 with urinals cut from the same block of clay. At crowded events, we had no problem with women using the toilet, even if they were treated to a show. (As you may have guessed, women were still welcome to look. The new mores emphasized heterosexuality, not chastity.)
Fashion made it worse. I remember, circa 2005, someone saying men's swimsuits should cover the knee. This was odd to me.
@ Jean - In front of a **brother**??? Now that IS a surprise. And kind of sad, too. Yep, the military can slap that shame right out of you in Basic Training because there just isn't time to think about it. Hugs and bisous.
@ Anon - Oh, I well remember the way women would come into the men's room at crowded events. No one cared. I also remember naked swimming at the Y - wasn't even an option, it was mandatory for guys. Things have changed and not for the better.
I don't think it is just shame of having male bits, but also indirect shame about potentially not measuring up because of male competitiveness. I think that is why some men cover their bits so that a formal judgement can not be made, despite there being grow-ers and show-ers.
I was talking with a friend about this some while ago, where he had to shower with others after work because it was a dirty occupation: the average guys had nothing to worry about, but the outliers at both ends of the spectrum received unwanted commentary.
#5 love Leo Giamani (here on my blog)
Really trying to raise my boys to have no shame. My wife and I have three sons, and I’ve never made my nudity an issue. I sleep nude, wake up and drink coffee nude, watch tv, eat dinner, whatever. Not a big deal. #Wehavewieners and they’ll change shape with a stiff breeze ;-) Hope it pays off for them someday and they’re not adult prudes ashamed of their tackle. My genes didn’t do ‘em half bad! Call me what you want, but I WONT have a son who is too shy to stand next to another man a urinal!! They’re out there dudes! Grown men who will wait for a stall in a restroom because they’re so insecure. It’s SAD. Really SAD.
My dad would be never naked or let me be naked around the house, he is so prude.
That’s too bad! A dude should not be a prude. Especially a dad. If we are ashamed of our body, our sons are more likely to be also. I can’t begin to understand why a father and sons would need cover up in front of each other. I mean, it’s all the same tools. What’s the deal? I get kids/teens not being as confident as a grown man, but they should be able to go nude on their own terms without anybody shaming them. To me, to the best way to model being comfortable is to be bareass my own self!
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