"We were three young, straight, professionals who started living together when I bought a luxury penthouse and invited two my college friends to move in during the pandemic. We went from wearing briefs around the house and terrace. Swimming naked in the small terrace pool led to casual nudity. Eventually that went to no longer hiding the morning wood and not worrying about sproradic boners. which then graduated to not only admitting to jerking off but doing it together, then lending a hand, then to frot, then to blowjobs. Now, we've realized we're very happy the way things are and decided we want to announce our relationship to our friends and family and don't really know how to do it. We'd also like to legally hyphenate our names but it feels unwieldy. Any suggestions?"
The only way I can think of to make the relationship known is to maybe throw an announcement party. Heck you could even have a cake with all three names on it. Be prepared for some friends and/or family to be shocked, some to tell you why it won't work, some to be happy for you, some to simply say they knew it was coming.
How to hyphenate without being unwieldy? Use first name, two initials, and the last name of the person you all agree on: John D.M. Smith, or John D.S. Man, or John S.M. Dude.
Readers?
14 comments:
Congratulations! Not everyone is lucky enough to end up with a live-together triple!
As far as name is concerned-- legalities aside, why not make up a new name? Smith + Man + Dude becomes Smithmandu, or other combinations...
Legally, that name would probably hold no water, so wills and other agreements will (!) be necessary to handle the legal side of things.
--PaulMmn
We have two sets of return stickers for our cards and letters. The formal one (Geary/Wilson) or (Geary/Kepler/Wilson) one address, the less formal (John and Keith)or (Dallas, Dennis, and Keith) one address. The longer you guys live together the more your friends will realize you as a Throuple .
Congratulations! I would not obsess over it, and I a pretty sure most of your close friends and family already have some idea that your relationship is more than just roomies. I suggest that you just put it out there.
When my husband and I tied the knot (10 years ago!), we went 4 years before doing anything about our last name. Only when my drivers license came up for renewal did we address it, and we just did a hyphen between our two last names. I have relatives that, given the length and difficulty of my family name, shortened it to a one-syllable. You do all of that through the Social Security Admin. office. It was funny. We filed out paperwork, and THAT AFTERNOON, all of our Fidelity accounts reflected the new name! We never called them!
Best of luck and... wow... enjoy these times!
Je trouve très très bonne cette idée de faire une fête avec vos amis... Mais ils faut inviter que ceux qui ont une bonne ouverture d'esprit, les autres laissez les où ils sont ils ne comprennent rien au bonheur..Amitiés
Jeff - Bordeaux
"Marriages" end in divorce too. Why make it complicated? Once you all have a track record of socializing as a threesome, it will simply become common knowledge, and you will be invited out as a threesome. But this is easy to change, when thing do change. You may end up as a two-some or all go your separate ways.
Hugs and bisous.
@ Jeff - Well said!
They're a throuple and they're not the first or the last. Throwing a party? Sure. But why should they? They should just keep living together and introduce the other two as their boyfriends.
Simple does it.
XOXO
Love all the positive responses. So not what I expected. As a polyamorous man, I’m so used to seeing negative and disparaging comments about those of us who love and have relationships with more than one person simultaneously. I have no advice to give, as every relationship has its own structure, rules, and dynamics, just remember to put your happiness above others’ opinions or acceptance. Everything else will work itself out.
what a great idea: a tripled family!
My husband and I kept our birth names after our marriage - seemed simpler and people have figured out that we're a couple because that's how we introduce each other. My suggestion is to create a common middle name, possibly as anagram of your three last names or a word that has meaning for all of you and isn't necessarily a name. Don't legally change anything, just start using it for social purposes.
I'm curious about the nature of the relationships. Do they want to announce something that is happening currently or something that they want people to know is long term?
What a wonderful story. My advice is to keep it simple, don't over-complicate things. Because, like Jean said: "Things change."
Enjoy your throuple, and don't get bogged down by labels, or what other people think. If you guys are happy, that's all that matters. My husband and I kept our last names separate. We never even talked about the whole naming thing...
Enjoy the love and friendship you have found with each other. Don't stress over acceptance, rather show them through your relationship who you are together. As for the names, you'll figure it out. Hugs and good luck!
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