Nailed

 

Good morning.

"Well, I done did it. Finally got nailed leaving a meeting waaaaay across town and should've known I'd need to pee before I got home. It got so bad I pulled to the side of the road and stood discreetly (I thought) between open doors. Wouldn't you know it...flashing lights pull up behind me. He stopped to make sure everything was okay. Thank goodness he didn't give me a ticket. He told me to "carry an emergency bottle to use...inside the car next time." Is that a thing? Do guys carry pee bottles??"

When I was a kid and we took any long trips my brother and I had to use an empty coffee can. Kneeling in the back seat was pretty precarious and it was always difficult to get the flow going no matter how bad I needed to pee. But as an adult? No. Even on long road trips I've never carried a bottle. If there's no place to stop I'll piss on the side of the road like I did last year on a trip to the Pacific Northwest.

But, whew. Thank goodness for understanding, considerate cops, huh? By golly, they are out there.

Have a very wonderful weekend. If you're traveling, be safe!

Instinct

 

"What is the deal with my husband peeing in the yard all the time? As a woman I don't get the attraction."

You mean, beside the fact that it's possible for guys to piss anywhere when they need to?

It's strictly "a guy thing." Chalk it up to instinct.

Like many other male animals, some men feel the need to mark their territory. They'll piss in different places around the property. If it's obvious another animal has come through and replaced those spots or if it rains, they'll feel the need to mark everything again. I think it really is as simple as that.

Though, living in a drought-stricken area, if all men would pee outside, an awful lot of water could be saved.

Even the most water-efficient toilets utilize more than a gallon per flush; Urinals 10oz per flush. Considering how many times a day each man uses the facilities, that's a lot of water to wash down...well, water.

A Perk

 

"Have you ever stopped on the side of the road to take a piss? My wife thought it was terrible but we were stuck in a humongous traffic jam and I would've pissed my pants. She's still bitching about it."

Oh, have I ever. Many times. Particularly during my trips to UCLA for medical treatment during COVID-19 when everything was closed. 

And during last Summer's road trip to the Pacific Northwest.

Trust me, it's more common than you think.

Being able to piss anywhere is a perk of being born with a cock.

Your wife needs to forget about it.

What's It All About?

 

Happy Friday. April 1; April Fools' Day. What's it all about? When did this nonsense begin??

 NPR attempts to shed some light on the topic.

When Did It Start?

Kiss me with tongue, brother.

You didn't believe I would do it, did you?

I thought you were joking when you said what you were doing in here.

Huh? What?? NO!!

What?!?!

See?

Holy crap, bro!

Told you, dude!

We'll be in right behind you. Promise.

I said I wouldn't take pictures. I didn't say I wouldn't film it.

Poor Poohtin
(I think he and Lady G have more in common than they're letting on.)

Create an April Fools' caption for your favorite!

Have a great weekend.