Another Situation

 

Well, first things, first. Thank you for all the positive comments and emails regarding my body check. It all went well. A few spots on my arms needed cryotherapy (frozen). And she confirmed the spot on the head of my cock to be psoriasis for which she prescribed steroid cream for sporadic use.

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We have a response about the Meatal Stenosis (closing of the urethral opening):

"Pat,  I apologize for taking so long to respond.  I just wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done to help me.  The information was more than helpful and an option I am already researching on.  Thank you for your blog and keep up the great work and information. Be Positive and test negative…..   – J"

No apologies necessary, J. We're all very happy we've been able to supply you with a solution. I hope the situation resolves fairly easily.

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Now we have another situation that needs our help.

"Hello, first of all I want to tell you that I love your blog a lot and on many occasions I feel identified with, with all the things that the lockdown brought, I had to move again with my family, before I lived alone and most of the time I was naked at home, I confess I love to masturbate online to relax the tension, but now as you can imagine it is almost difficult and when I do it, I have to do it quickly and I have read that this can cause me to suffer from premature ejaculation, I don't know what to do, so that this doesn't happen , and be able to enjoy the long masturbation sessions that I was used to. Tanks for reading me - M"

Those readers who have been thrust into communal living quarters after having lived free to do as they wish will know exactly what you're going through. Premature ejaculation means "ejaculating before one wants to." So, quick sessions won't cause a physical manifestation.

It is your mental state which could cause this to be a recurring thing once you have moved out on your own again. After you have moved into your own place again, it will be important to remind yourself that you have the freedom and the time to take as long as you want.

In the meantime, though, you still want to be able to enjoy your cock without the furtive rush. It's necessary to your health - mental and physical.

I'm going to suggest edging. When you have five minutes alone - maybe in the bathroom - get yourself hard, and stroke a little bit. But don't cum. You can do this several times each day. This gives you the opportunity to enjoy the pleasurable sensations and deliberately make the session last all day. Then cum when you decide you're ready.

You didn't say if you share a bedroom. If not, you can masturbate when you go to bed at night. You will have to try to be quiet about it...meaning no vocalizations. If you have a squeaky bed, lie or sit on the floor instead.

The saddest part of this situation for any guy is having to hide the activity in the first place. It's a plain and simple fact of life: Guys jack off.

That we feel obliged to hide it is a damn shame.

Readers: Any other suggestions for him?

Body Check

 

I have a doctor's appointment this morning for a full body check. Evidently, because I spend so much time in and around the pool naked, and used to hike naked, and hit the nude beaches, my wife thinks it a good idea.

Mustn't forget the nude cruise.

Bruce and Bryn left a comment on yesterday's post to remind us all that today is

BUDDY BALL CHECK

Get busy, folks.

First Response

 

I've received several responses to my request for updates. This was the first to come in:

"Pat, I think most may remember our situation. I divorced my wife after she "found" religion and made life miserable but she retained custody of our sons. When she caught them masturbating with a couple of their friends she went crazy. Screamed at them and hit them while they dressed and threw them out of the house. A week later she insisted they return or she'd take me to court. The boys refused to leave and I really didn't know what to do. You and your readers said the kids should be old enough to decide where they wanted to live and to petition the judge. How right you were. The judge granted me custody of the oldest (R) and a year later did the same for my youngest (r).

Readers may recognize that they both read this blog and comment from time to time. They've turned out to be well-adjusted, young men, both in college, and doing really well. And still jerk off with their friends. I really could not be more proud of them. I will be forever thankful that I stumbled across your blog in a desperate search to see if mutual masturbation was a normal thing and asked for help. - Dad"

Oh, the horror of young men jacking off together, right?

I have the best Faithful Readers. They make up a community of men (and women) who help others. I'm always grateful to them for the suggestions and advice they can add.

Why?

 

The Faithful Reader I've been having such wonderful discussions with in the areas of male sexuality has suggested it would be nice if some of the past writers-of-questions would let us know how things have turned out; whether suggested solutions have worked. Or not.

Consider this the Call to Action. If you have written in with a question, how did things work out?

One of the most frequent questions I get is wanting to know how to approach the subject of masturbation with a spouse/partner/significant other or a son in the throes of puberty. And it's not always a guy asking, either. Sometimes --- many times, actually --- it's women; wanting to know why we men seem to have to do it so often; why we try to hide it.

Do guys really jack off together (yes); 

Do they really jerk each other (yes); 

Doesn't that mean they're gay (an emphatic no).

Biological make-up is, of course, why we jack off. The urge to release sperm is normal, natural, and has been our lot in life since the dawn of man.

Sadly, we try to hide it because, historically, it has been the subject of ridicule. If a guy is "jerkin' the gherkin," it's because he can't get laid. Even those (mostly men, immature men, btw) who claim it, know it's a falsehood. Because men jack off for many different reasons.

Somewhere along the 10 years of this blog, I enumerated those reasons. But it would be nice to rebuild/revisit it.

So, tell me, guys:

Why do you jack off?