Morning
"Me and my bud are both married but we get together once in a while in a hotel suite and spend the day chilling and bating. He stays hard for a long time after he shoots his load but mine goes soft right away. Why?"
Immediately, completely soft? Or, does it go down gradually?
Are your bate sessions later in the day or evening? If so, it could be testosterone levels, which become depleted over waking hours. But it isn't something to be overly concerned about.
Is there an age gap? The older we are, the faster the boner wilts and the longer it takes to recover for a second or third round.
Do you feel a sense of guilt over masturbating with a friend, perhaps like you're both cheating on your wives? Guilt can be a powerful thing - though jacking off shouldn't be considered "cheating;" even if it is with a buddy, it's still solo activity.
That said, the amount of time it takes to lose an erection after ejaculation will vary. And it will be different from guy to guy. Does he continue to stroke his cock and play with his balls after he cums? That could be what helps to keep him hard.
Continued stimulation after you cum should at least slow the process.
21 comments:
For anon:
"Me and my bud are both married but we get together once in a while in a hotel suite and spend the day chilling and bating. He stays hard for a long time after he shoots his load but mine goes soft right away. Why?"
Are your bate sessions later in the day or evening? If so, it could be testosterone levels, which become depleted over waking hours. But it isn't something to be overly concerned about.
Yeah, that seems natural to me.
I know men who get (and stay) hard without any difficulty and they are over fifty. Of course it's easier to stand at attention (and stay that way) when we're young, but we are all different....
XOXO
I don't know if this would help, but I remember years ago I had a straight friend, and he and I would jack off together occasionally. He had the same issue. I didn't even ask him, but one time I just went right down on his dick and started sucking him and he got hard right away. I think he just needed the next level of stimulation.
Everyone's different.
Could it be... boredom? Many... MANY years ago, I had a friend with benefits. It was... ALWAYS the same. Friday night. The same, cheap jug of wine. The same pepperoni pizza. The same porn. The same JO. After a few months, it was FUCKING BORING!!! He never wanted to do anything else. Perhaps take a "Guys Night" off and just the two of them should just do something else. I kinda read it as, "Okay, I'm done now. I wanna get some wings and beer. You?"
It varies for me, but I find after I cum the erection goes down pretty quickly. I don't mind, he's ready again about 10 minutes later
This was the first post I could see after the string of 3 invisible ones, but thanks for continuing to post the text at the beginning of the comment section as I think it is still worthwhile to give context to any subsequent comments.
As for the de-tumescence of the dick after ejaculation, that's natural biology as the body creates a hormone afterwards that returns everything to a rest state. Diversity of biology (ie the effect varies between men) means YMMV in how long it takes to reset: young men can reset very quickly, often so fast the dick doesn't droop much between sessions.
If the other guy is wearing a cock ring, that might also keep an erection going as the normal mechanism signals blood vessels to contract or relax (can never remember which) that allows blood to flow out quicker than it comes in and so causes a deflation, however a cock ring overrides that mechanism to keep the blood in, retaining the inflation. Erectile dysfunction medication like Viagra or Cialis can also help in overriding the natural deflation mechanism (or increasing the natural inflation mechanism).
Isn't that the stereotypical heterosexual male though, reluctant to do anything else except the same vanilla, because it just works for them? It's just objective orientated sex and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I had an older friend with benefits, who would cum and then express he was spent, but I could usually coax another orgasm out of him that he was always surprised about, although appreciative, even though it was repeatable once on each occasion. We weren't limited to just jacking off though.
"Guilt can be a powerful thing - though jacking off shouldn't be considered "cheating;" even if it is with a buddy, it's still solo activity."
I'm always amazed how apologetic we can be, when we are just meeting our own needs. How did it become more important that a man sought sex elsewhere to satisfy his needs, than his needs being starved in the first place and then called cheating?
When did men sign a contract that their sexual expression would be held hostage to only what women want, with no compensation and then made their fault for looking elsewhere?
If we starved a person and they stole food, would we ignore the fact they were starving and stick to the letter of the law and call them criminal as the most important element?
There's a lot of confusion over what is fair and reasonable practice even in dating, where many women have an expectation of exclusivity even though it may not be discussed, let alone in relationships.
Surely a persons body is their own to do with what they wish, even though they may have a relationship with someone else. For men, it's usually just recreational sex that they aren't getting from a relationship, so why does it need to be constrained even further as to what acts are acceptable or not? It's not as if the "cheat" was going to be provided by the relationship, so how can it be cheating? It seems to be more the person seeking sex outside the relationship is being cheated.
Inquiring minds want to know.
Part of the ejaculatory process is the release of enzymes (?) that turn off erections. Seem to get more powerful with age, and last longer, but also it's rare for them not to do their job - individual variation. One of the benefits of the "multiple dry orgasm" technique I've been doing for the last dozen years is that doesn't happen, so the charge keeps growing in my body. But then after a couple of dozen orgasms my cock gets pretty soft and my82 yo body needs to rest for several hours before the next bate set.
Ah, yes...youth! I remember it well.
XOXO
Oh, I think a blow job would do it! LOL.
We are, indeed.
I guess boredom could have something to do with it.
I don't think this guy is that lucky, but maybe he is and just focuses on the wilting.
Interesting....another guy wrote in - this one gay and his partner gets upset when he goes off to masturbate alone. I think it has to do with confidence in a relationship. Maybe I'll post his question....
It's definitely the release of chemicals.... Maybe he'll see this and can start using that process.
He wants your mouth!
Any idea where the third image, gif, is from?
That's a confident guy with a nice tool.
Thanks for posting.
I think they're (gif guys) all pretty confident --- but him? Yeah, he's got swagger. You're welcome.
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