Follow-up to yesterday's post.
Women are not drawn to the meek guy in the bar who won't make eye contact and doesn't seem to easily respond. Nor are they particularly interested in the over-confident guy who ogles and paws at them, especially in this age of #metoo. There's a difference between confident and cocky.
Comfortable in your own skin lends itself directly to confidence. Letting go of the flaws you see in yourself helps. The comments the readers left for you are filled with great suggestions. Being nude with others can assist you in that by noticing if others notice you and they've provided a lot of ways to accomplish that. Naturist, or clothing optional places exist everywhere.
The thing in your message pointed to your viewing masturbation as a chore. If you're bored with yourself, it's not going to help you when you do find a woman (women) to walk out of the bar with you.
First time sex between people is rarely - if ever - like it's depicted in movies or on television. In reality, we're typically nervous about it - for all manner of reasons. But first and foremost is: Will my body live up to expectations? Will I be able to satisfy her (or him).
You've got to get back to a point where you enjoy your own cock in order for someone else to enjoy it with you. Mindful Masturbation, rather than jacking off, will help you get back to a place of enjoyment.
Take a day - yes, an entire day - with yourself. Get naked, stay naked.
Do everything, all day long, naked.
Enjoy your body.
Rediscover it.
Find the pleasure in it again.
If you decide to get with that colleague (if he is indeed offering to be "that buddy") he may be able to help you find things to enhance your ability for pleasure.
And build your confidence.
11 comments:
As always, very good advice!
thanks for your advices!
It took me several years to build the Christopher's confidence in me, but it was worth it. If your reader can built his confidence in himself just by asking to his colleague if he was offering to be "that buddy", he should not to miss this opportunity. Idem if he was offering to introduce him to good places where to get rid of his complexes. Your reader must demonstrate movement by advancing down it, it is only the first step that is difficult.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
All good suggestions on how to get there. I also recognize that one picture!!!!! The naked beer pong!
An excellent post with very important advice. Thank you so much for promoting healthy attitudes toward ourselves, our bodies, and our sexuality. I wish you a bonerific day, my Friend. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
Everything you said in your post is so true. Hope he will report back on how his day of nakedness goes.
Do things that make you feel good about yourself. Heading to the gym or getting exercise is probably number one. There’s so many benefits from exercise from your own self image to your own body’s physical working. You just can’t beat it.
Hugs and bisous Pat and dear French Patrick.
I think I have dishes that need cleaning...
Seriously though, I think this is great advice. I became so much more confident with my body - both alone and with others - once I started spending more time with it naked. The thing I actually enjoy most about being naked around other men is being able to see the diversity of bodies: where their fat collects, how they move through space, even pubes and genital shapes and sizes. Seeing how wonderfully unperfect other people are is a great way to break the stigma perpetuated by porn. It certainly helped me to be more at home in my own skin and, by extension, to be more confident around others - clothed or otherwise.
Excellent advice. It works for me. I'd also suggest doing New Body Electric School "Celebrating the Body Erotic" workshop that can be transformative in getting you in touch with your erotic core. Although originally developed by a gay man, now workshops are mixed. They're also planning to give mixed-gender workshops again...
Chad Smith said, about the Red Hot Chili Peppers' socks, "You should try it some time." As in, you should try, maybe not performing with a sock on your dong, but at least casually wearing one where possible. You can also go completely naked. Or just bind your foreskin with a cord like the ancient Greeks.
But do try to find a jerk buddy. I remember in college, a small group of us, we'd even organize naked wrestling tournaments when we weren't circle jerking or swordfighting. I'd say three in five was otherwise straight.
Thank you so much for your helpful advice about panis. I will apply it during masturbation.
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