Three things mesh and suggest this post. A reader sent the following email:
"Would a topic of Helping Other Guys Feel Cool About Masturbation be good? My contribution, if you want something to start it off:
The first time my two nephews came to stay with me for a few days (this was six years ago) they were age 19 and 22. When I showed them my bedroom where I sleep and the guest bedroom where they would be sleeping I also told them that when they wanted privacy they only had to close the door, and simply said, "So you don't have to lock yourself in the toilet or the bathroom to masturbate. You can enjoy doing it comfortably in your room."
I caught sight of their glance at each other and the brief smile which flickered across both their faces. Then I said, "The same applies to my room: A closed door means knock, don't just walk in!"
And, then low! and behold! it's brought to my attention that a new group has been formed in Blue Ridge, North Carolina, called the Blue Ridge Coupons. Their philosophy is simple: "Masturbation should be practiced without shame or fear."
Then, GQ magazine delivers its take on why straight men are joining Jack-off groups in an article on what the author apparently believes is a phenomenon but is no surprise to us here at BWA. He cites many of the sources we have in the past (Dr. Jane Ward, Slate, Bateworld), and reports on Rain City Jacks with an interview. I think the author even calls it "buddy bating." However, to have this information hit a mainstream men's magazine is excellent; it's great news for all you straight guys.
All that points to helping men become more comfortable or, as the email suggested, cool about masturbation.
Still think you're weird for jacking off? Still think that friend or colleague doesn't? Still think it's strange that guys would enjoy it together?
It's not. You all can feel cool about it whether alone, with a buddy, or a group.
13 comments:
Masturbation is fun and needed....whether alone or with a buddy or group, peroid.
it works better than a relaxing medicine!
For sure we can practice masturbation alone. It never occurred to me to ask Fear or Shame to keep me company, especially since I don't know who nor where are these two guys.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
Postscript: Pat, can you give me the address of your blog at NewTumblr?
Amen - It's cool to Masturbate alone, in pairs, in groups - it's a good, natural, healthy feel good activity we all do so no reason to hide it - reminds me of that Wang Chung song "Everybody wank off tonight!" : ) or maybe that's how I heard that song. : ) I wish you a great day and wonderful weekend, my Friend. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
Takes your mind off politics. Hugs and bisous.
I remember the first gay nudist group that I attended. They were meeting at one member's house and it was a casual night of drinks, playing cards and just hanging out naked. It was maybe a dozen guys there and there was nothing sexual going on.
When the "official" meeting was over, I noticed that several of the guys were missing. I needed to go to the bathroom before leaving and I passed a bedroom where the missing guys were jacking off together. Needless to say, I was invited to join them. And needless to say, I did! LOL!
I think that the uncle is cool to be upfront about it with his nephews. I bet they think is the "cool" uncle!
I’d love to see some pointers on feeling more comfortable masturbating. I enjoy it, but I still feel like I have to hide it from my partner - despite him clearly saying “you do you”. It’s weird, but his casual approach almost makes it more weird to bare in front of him (possibly because he has never joined in). What’s a guy to do?
@ Jomill - Has he ever been ashamed to be seen (caught) by you?
The next time you are starting to have sex, ask him to simply masturbate with each other. No touching one another - just enjoy your own bodies. Doing this together you eventually may get comfortable doing it in front of him.
I've never caught my partner masturbating, much to my disappointment. We've had maybe two times where he's "caught me" i.e., I was jerking off and he came home and I just didn't stop (hey, we're partners, it's nothing he hasn't seen) but his approach has been general disinterest.
I have been able to coax him to play with a new tele-dildo I bought, but he refused to get undressed and join in: major bummer.
I'll try doing some mutual masturbation next time we have sex, though I must admit that it happens so rarely that when it does occur, it's often hard for me to hold off :P
I used to masturbate with friends all the time; hell, because I started puberty early, I taught every last one of them.
As high school wound down, we had one last jerk before graduation, but I was worried about don't ask don't tell. (Fun fact: The lower ranks were already over that shit in the early 90s, and it was more discomfort among the upper ranks, and Bill Clinton's policy of appeasement, that made it a thing.) College, however, it was easy to find masturbation partners.
You'll find for a lot of guys, it's no different than watching porn together. There's honestly a hierarchy of "what straight guys are willing to do".
I love your blog!
How does one find a jerk group? I joined a naturist group, all male, but they have a no sex policy--wink, wink, as I've given and received several BJ's. But I'd like a group where I'm not 'breaking the rules.'
Peace out.
@ JoyLove... - Ask a few of the guys in the Naturist Group. Someone is bound to know if one exists in your area. Another good source is the NY Jacks. I think they still have a page of links to groups around the world. You might also try joining Bateworld - you might find some hometown boys there who attend a local jack-off group.
Another new way to link up with guys: BuddyBate.com.
@JoyLove - I second Bateworld. Great site for meeting likeminded guys.
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