From the Mail Bag:
The win goes to your wife. Oh, sure, it may be that he's jacking off in the bathroom, in the shower. Or he's cleaning up with tissues or paper towels.
It may also be that he's an extraordinarily late bloomer. But you won't know - and neither will he - if you don't broach the subject of his genital health.
First off, you need to make sure his cock gets hard. Ask if, or how often, he wakes with morning wood. You can slip into his room in the morning to check on that if he can't/won't answer. Does he sprout spontaneous boners? Erections, or the lack thereof, is a critical sign.
No hard-ons? Time to see his doctor.
If the answer is yes, ask if he's ever had an ejaculation. If the answer is yes, then all is well - let him enjoy himself the way he wants. Though, you really should let him know he doesn't need to hide the fact.
If the answer is no, it is time to see his doctor. Retrograde ejaculation isn't life threatening, and there is no treatment for it (that I'm aware of, anyway). But to know the issue is to be better able to deal with it when he's into a serious relationship and wants to sire children. IVF is possible but is expensive, and would be doubly so for guys who can't shoot when they cum. Sperm must be extracted with a syringe. The procedure is done either in an office under local anesthesia, or in an operating room under general.
Your wife may be relieved to have that information. But, your son deserves to know what he's facing - if he indeed is having erection or ejaculation issues.
10 comments:
I can understand that he may not be ejaculating yet. I was actually 14 1/2 when I jizzed the first time. However, if your boy does not get boners EVER, then I’d say a doctors visit is in order. I mean , little kids even babies get boners!! Question: have you seen him naked? If so, does he have pubes yet? If so, and no sperm that would be another reason to visit a doc.
I was wondering: did he just turn 14 or is he approaching 15 soon? Approaching 15 is getting a bit late and might be worth a trip to the doctor if all is not working as it should. Of course, he could simply be very private and very tidy and the "signs" are not readily visible.
You definitely need to make a casual inquiry with your son to determine if he is enjoying the fruits of manhood.....or not. However, be careful NOT to make a huge deal out of it that's going to negatively impact him. A father and son should be able to have these private discussions about becoming a man without either being embarrassed. Maybe all is fine, but maybe he needs YOUR help.
14yo is not that old, it's a little to soon for worrying. Maybe he masturbates outside the house. Maybe he does it in paper tissues that he throws into the first garbage he finds outdoors.
But you are right, it is better a useless precaution than a useless risk.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
14? Seems a little early to be too concerned, but not necessarily too early to have “the talk”.
I must confess that I have never had nocturnal ejaculations and have never left any trace of my cum: I masturbated a lot and I immediately became very good and clever at cleaning myself with paper handkerchiefs.
I must confess that I have never had nocturnal ejaculations and have never left any trace of my cum: I masturbated a lot and I immediately became very good at cleaning myself with paper handkerchiefs.
While I agree he should speak with his son. I would highly disagree with your suggestion that dad slips into his room to check for morning wood. That would be a huge invasion of privacy and, if caught, would destroy any trust in his parents.
@ Anon - Plenty of parents slip into their kids' rooms. Sometimes to just plant a soft kiss on the forehead, sometimes to check on them because...well, because they're parents, sometimes to wake them in the morning for school. My mom told me she would come in to wake me and cover my boner with the blankets before waking me because she "didn't want to embarrass" me. See? It doesn't need to be nefarious. It's a simple, sincere concern.
Have you had "the talk"?
I wouldn't worry too much. I preferred the bathroom if it was just me.
I was about 12 when I started having spontaneous erections, sometimes at school such that I would have to hide them with a notebook. Maybe then or at 13 I started having "nocturnal emissions" as my mother called them, which was a totally one-sided conversation as I found the subject extremely embarrassing to discuss with her. I would have preferred for my Dad to have educated me about these things, but for some reason he never said word one. And my older brother was too busy with sports and his frenetic social life to clue me in about any of it.
I grew a foot in height during seventh grade, and my man-tool participated in that growth spurt. At 14 I measured my erection at ten inches, and pretty thick. (I wish I could generate that now!) Also at 14 I discovered that with just a little tactile encouragement, I could get the boner to explode, the results of which I would clean up carefully. Still, I was very shy around girls and never got physical with them in terms of any action below the neck until 14 (!) years later.
There was one girl that I fancied in 8th grade, though; a pretty, tall blonde. One day we went for a walk by the River. Standing on some rocks on the dike when no one was around, I tried kissing her. She was a willing participant; no problem there. However, based on movies and novels I expected some shooting stars or whatever, but the experience did nothing for me. I didn't even get hard. I took her home. That was the end of the romance.
Years later, I realized that I had actually been more attracted to her handsome, extremely masculine father. Working on his boat, or on other people's boats at the docks, he would wear nothing but bright red, tight stretchy swim trunks that left nothing to the imagination in terms of the enormous equipment in his crotch. Also he had the most perfect hairy, well-muscled chest I have ever seen. Even though he was about 40 there was no fat on his mid-section. In those days there was no internet, of course, and if there were any gay men in our town they were totally closeted. Thus I had no way to sort out the feelings I had for that man.
Back to the original subject -- The bottom line is that I would strongly urge the Dad in this situation to have a frank conversation with his son about the changes in his body, the need to avoid STDs, the positive aspects of getting set for eventual fatherhood, etc. Probably everything is fine with the young man, but it's best for a father and son to have those conversations at what can be a very confusing time.
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