It's been an interesting back-and-forth with one Reader. I had to send his question to a friend of mine who has her Masters in sex. But, if any of you have any other thoughts on the subject they could be very helpful.
The basics: This man has a pubescent son who he's properly schooled on masturbation and supports it completely. It seems the problem is the "nocturnal emissions" numerous times each week, despite the two or three masturbatory ejaculations his son accomplishes during the course of every day. He doesn't understand how or why this keeps happening. Of course, the wet dreams stain the bed linens.
Can they be stopped? Should they be stopped?
My guess (and that of my friend) is the normal nighttime boner triggers a sexual dream which triggers the ejaculation. Wet dreams are pretty normal at the height of puberty. But that he jerks off regularly makes them somewhat of a surprise.
I'm not entirely convinced they should be stopped - though it wouldn't do any damage. But, is there a way to safely do that? My sex therapist friend suggests a topical anesthesia at bedtime. It would not stop the cock from getting hard but the effect would lower the sensitivity and, perhaps, help avoid the natural response to continue any dream state stimulation.
According to the Mayo Clinic, "Anesthetic creams and sprays that contain a numbing agent, such as benzocaine, lidocaine or prilocaine, are sometimes used to treat premature ejaculation. These products are applied to the penis 10 to 15 minutes before sex to reduce sensation and help delay ejaculation."
There are many brands out there using a variety of application, ranging from Roman Swipes ($17/8pack) to Climaxagen ($50/tube), KY Duration Spray ($20.49/can/bottle) to Skyn Endurance Spray ($14.97/bottle). The more economical Ejectdelay ($11) or ManDelay ($3) creams would probably do the trick. They're all readily available, either online or the local pharmacy.
The idea is for his son to apply a small amount to the head of his cock each night before going to bed to sleep. It seems to make sense, but
Any other suggestions?
17 comments:
My first thought is to just let it be.
I am not qualified to give an answer but my first thought was for him to just enjoy the ride. Wet Dreams are awesome! The few I've had in my adult years made me wish I had them all the time. But that's me. : ) I hope you and your are doing well. I wish y'all a super duper day and weeeeeeekend, my Friend. Hugs, Licks, and Strokes, AOM
I suggest looking at the bedding of itself. Example, we have flannel sheets on the bed that are heavy. When I get an erection in the middle of the night, under the right circumstances, the fabric enables just the right amount of pressure. I've caught myself a few times where I was just about to blow a load as a result.
Could be sleeping habits, too. If he sleeps on his stomach, there is that normal friction between the erection, the body and the mattress.
I would not be quick to use a topical spray or ointment. If it's frequent, why not just wear a body wrap or sleep on top of a towel?
no suggestions, because it's so strange so many "orgasms".
apart of the daily 2, another one just before he falls asleep!
Thanks for the wonderful pictures.
Have a great weekend.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat.
First and foremost is for the son not to feel like he's doing anything wrong! Dad should be cautious not to do anything that could cause the son sexual hangups down the road. Also how dad deals with this teaches the son how he'll handle things when he has kids.
Who is bothered by this? The son, the dad, the mom (assuming a mother is in the picture). I've know some mothers that want to "control" certain behavior, or don't want to admit their 'baby boy' is growing up. So hopefully this is not the case.
Is the son able to seek relief right as he goes to bed? He may masturbate 2~3 times a day, but when? He should try rubbing out a couple closer to bedtime if possible. Hopefully he doesn't share a room. Make sure he has adequate privacy and not have to sneak quick wanking episodes.
Dad said he 'schooled' the son on masturbation, but to what extent? Teach the son at night to take his time and learn to edge and not just rush through the it. A delayed orgasm may cause a greater emission amount. (The benefits of this will pay off now as well as later when he has a partner. *wink*)
I really don't like that this is viewed as a "problem." Hopefully the son isn't being embarrassed. So as long as he doesn't care, what harm is there other than a few messy sheets?
LOL,I sometimes miss my days of teenage virility. The son (and dad) should just be happy all the plumbing is working and not worry about it. Worry when things don't work! I'm sure things will settle down.
The answer to the problem is found earlier in the post. I don't know where your correspondent is but in the UK we have a very good washing powder called Daz which will get rid of the stains. Unless the wetness is disturbing his sleep I think the son is best left to it.
Shame on your sex therapist for suggesting a chemical product to stop the normal nighttime emission of a very young guy. The remedy is simple: a brief under the pyjama and letting the bed stains dry during the day. I am 84 years young; according to my experience, nighttime boners are not produced by sexual dreams. And anyway, they don't happen 15 minutes after going to sleep. Some men produce more semen than others, where is the problem ?
Frequent wet dreams "despite the two or three masturbatory ejaculations his son accomplishes during the course of every day"! I would suggest the son saves his last masturbation each day until immediately before going to bed, so the tank is emptied (so to speak) just before sleeping.
Why try and deprive the kid of the pleasure of nocturnal dreams and emissions. I'd treat this as.a laundry problem. Could he keep a condom on his dick all night, or would it slip off when his cock is soft and slimy? Or wear something easier to launder- like briefs? Or make him responsible for his own laundry? I'm rather jealous since I've only had a few wet dreams in my 65 years of maturity!
I don't feel it needs to be curtailed. It's not doing any physical damage to the boy, he's not loosing sleep, it just sounds like they have to clean the sheets every other day.
As for that, put a beach towel under the bottom sheet so semen doesn't stain the mattress. Have the boy do his own laundry so he doesn't feel like he's imposing on the adults in his household.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Some dudes just produce a lot of cum. I know a man in his 40s who masturbates 5 times a day, every day.
Sleep on top of a comforter. That's what I do. (Same condition. I call it abundant semen. No matter what I do, how much I discharge, I still have plenty left over.)
@André: I suppose this is just me, but wearing anything to bed is hella uncomfortable during puberty.
It sounds like junior has an excellent libido, a sexual imagination,
and a father who appreciates a nice hand job.
Now, if nighttime weren't so full of sexual dreams!
Maybe Junior could wear a condom, installed on an erect penis at
bedtime, and, hopefully, keep the sheets clean.
--Paul
Wish I had this problem again! When I was that age I never had anything happening that frequently. Once in awhile it did happen. I think it is best to let nature take its course. If caught in time, I'd think he could just wipe up and go. Maybe he could wear a night shirt or something loose but still adds another layer of protection.
I think this is a laundry problem. Wet dreams can be super fantastic and should be celebrated. Why deprive the young guy his right of passage.....just let it fly.
I think the next thing he needs to be taught is how to do his own laundry.
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