"What's your take one siblings jacking together? My two sons (about 13 months apart) recently discovered their boners. It was no big deal it was goign to happen sooner or later. But then I also discovered they been jerking off together."
My take is that there's not a thing wrong with it. There's no reason to stop them - you probably couldn't anyway. You should certainly have a talk with them about masturbation; let them know it's a very common activity, it's healthy for body and mind. But there's absolutely no reason to stop them from doing it together. If it's consensual - and I assume it is - they aren't hurting anyone or anything. And do you really think they would stop just because you said to?
As I've said before when the subject has come up: Educate them, give them lube to help them experience the sensations of penetrative intercourse to learn ejaculation control, and towels for clean-up. Make sure they know they can come to you with any question.
Then close the door on your way out, and let them enjoy.
Education is always the key, right?
28 comments:
You always have good advice. And yes, I'm gonna watch the train wreck tonight.
I am not a father, but I believe your advice to be right.
I was the yougest of my siblings and was introduced to jerking off by the brother that came before me, four years my elder. He was twelve and I eight. And it all felt very natural, like a game - pleasant and without consequence, which it was.
Until one sunday afternoon our father stepped into the bedroom we were « playing in », asking what we were doing.
That very simple question sounded kind of biblical and led my brother to answer something stupid. My father turned away and went downstairs.
From then on my brother and I stopped « playing » that game that had become banished through a simple frown delivered by an incompetent father figure.
The lessons I learned from it as I grew up:
1- my father, as an only child, was definitely not prepared to handle this kind of situation,
2- it didn’t keep me from jerking off, as shame has no power under the sheets or the shower - nor in any other and many places, as I discovered,
3- renewing this shared moments with my best friend during a vacation in the Alps when we were teens was still as natural as it could get - the same goes with what happened with friends in the high school’s dormitory…
But you came here for advice, so here are mine.
Find a way to make them understand that:
- the exploration of their sexuality is to be kept private, especially and foremost from their mother - they’ll instinctively understand what you mean,
- smile at them, like an accomplice would, because when it comes from a father it’s often worth more than an a hundred words,
- and of course: "should you have any question, I'll be there for you".
Everyone knows you're a good advisor. Or they'll soon find it out.
Hugs and bisous, my darlings Jean and Pat
Have a great Tuesday
Thanks, Rick.
It'll be interesting, I think. The polls keep saying Peoplle need to know more about her." He's an incompetent convicted felon, who is promising to ignore the laws, even throw donors into prison, and kill immigrants on sight as they cross the borders. What more is there to know?
What great advice - much better than mine. Thank you!
Aww, thanks! Hugs and bisous.
Well, yes.
As long as they have lube and don't practice the grip of death when jacking off, leave them alone.
XOXO
> the exploration of their sexuality is to be kept private,
> especially and foremost from their mother
I first started having inarticulate urges which, as an adult,
I recognize as having been the first stirrings of sexuality
at the tender age of 4 or 5 (certainly pre-school, at any
rate; this would have been, like, 1956).
I remember one day looking at a picture book (for kids! --
the folks trying to ban books have no idea what kind of
images a child might eroticize) -- I think it was an illustrated
fairy tale with figures drawn wearing tights -- think
Franco Zeffirelli's "Romeo and Juliet". I distinctly remember
that at that age, I found the shape of (male) legs --
interesting.
That afternoon, I was taking an afternoon nap with my mother
(as we commonly did -- nothing weird about that), and I took the
opportunity at some point to hide under the covers and examine the
calf of my own leg while flicking my (flaccid) penis back and forth.
I didn't know why I connected the two body parts, only that it
felt good.
My mother whipped off the covers, caught me in the act, and
said "Wait till I tell your father what you've been doing!"
So I spent the rest of the afternoon in fear, waiting for my
father to come home from work. Of course, neither my father nor
my mother ever brought the subject up. (I have no doubt that my
mother told my father, who probably rolled his eyes and told her
to forget about it.)
I was an only child; there was absolutely **no** sex education
at any point -- I had to figure it all out by myself.
After I began masturbating for real -- I'd just turned 14 --
I **still** didn't quite know what I was doing or what it was
all about. The first time I climaxed (dry), it felt amazing
but also terrifying -- I didn't know if it would stop, or
whether I'd broken something. I didn't touch myself directly,
just rubbed against the bed in my boxer shorts. That was after
school; that evening, at dinner, I was half afraid that my
parents would be able to tell just by looking at me what
I'd been up to.
But yes -- parents who aren't prepared for their children's
(especially their male children's) sexuality are liable to do
real psychological harm. And women (mothers) who don't understand
what male sexuality is about (or who think it's dirty or evil)
are in a position to be especially damaging (though fathers who
are embarrassed about their own sexuality can be just as bad).
And if you throw religion into the mix (fortunately, we were
pretty tepid Episcopalians), normal sexual urges can become a
psychological torture chamber, especially in a so-called "high-control
religion" (one such as is common in a certain southwestern state
beginning with "U"). Suicides are not unheard-of in those circumstances.
I did, however, find a 1951 marriage manual in the bottom drawer
of my parents' dresser that warned that indulgence of the habit
would make normal marital relations impossible. That was
alarming, but it certainly didn't stop me. ;->
“Fired up and ready to go “
Hugs and bisous. 🗳️ 🌊🌊🌊🌊 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
I used to jack off with cousins...and even my half nephew. We learned a lot from each other.
Never had a brother to jerk off with. When my dad caught me at it, he was unfazed. He said one time, "Don't tell your mother you do that." When she passed away, he began doing it with me. He emphasized it was natural and okay ("Men are built to shoot sploot," were his exact words.), but said not to noise it about. I never felt uncomfortable doing it in front of him, or seeing him do it. My gym/health teacher also upheld that idea. Too bad I never got to do it with HIM. Big Dude
The Death Grip should absolutely be discouraged.
XOXO
Thank you for sharing your experience. That is exactly the kind of thing we need to help stop.
We watched about an hour of the Preshow, the show itself, and then I watched the entire after-show.
It was glorious. That he felt the need to go into the Spin Room afterward only solidified that his team knew he got clobbered.
Hugs and bisous.
And no one turned out to be harmed!
This is the attitude all fathers should have and impart to their sons. It would lead to much healthier lives - mentally and physically.
I used to jack off with my older cousins. And with close friends; strangely, though I was the youngest of my friends, I discovered masturbation first. Still prepuberty at the time. (I'm kind of weird: I didn't get pubic hair until I was 15, but I was ejaculating at 9, and reached six inches at 12, though I did continue to grow for some time after that.)
My dad told me it was just natural, and he actually cleaned out an old storage shed for my friends and me after he caught us once. (He wanted to build a new one anyway was his excuse )
Another example of a understanding and knowledgeable father. Thank you for sharing that.
Me and my cousins did toilet paper roll test, we all love a challenge and bet which father had the biggest!
That experience is far too common unfortunately.
The tragedy is that Dads aren't educating their sons early enough about these natural male biological characteristics, so they aren't experienced as frightening, shameful or a disturbing surprise, or even a missed opportunity, but proud male inheritance. By waiting until an "appropriate time" it's too easy to miss the boat and curing an unpleasant experience is much harder than preventing an unpleasant experience in the first place (through timely education).
Of course, privacy and respecting the public feelings of others is also important education, to be served up with education about boys bodies and what they can expect as they develop into men.
We still haven't got past the antiquated views that sex is only for procreation and not for pleasure, hence the ghost prohibition on masturbation by not telling boys and hoping they don't discover it on their own or the barbaric forced infant circumcision that permanently reduces sensitivity and removes an option for masturbation.
Similarly, there is inadequate education for men about what naturally happens to their bodies with age, whether any remedial approaches can slow, halt or even reverse a decline in male sexual function and whether any external influences can accelerate the decline. Whilst it is not spoken about, I have my suspicion that many men lose their sexuality way before time, because their partners lose interest and they are prevented from continuing.
The best thing men can do is relate their experiences and hopefully, with enough, we will start to see a pattern of frustration of male sexuality to be able to start to correct it.
Education is key and timing is everything: don't deny the lad the opportunities his biology presents by forcing him to use trial and error.
Unfortunately, the sins of the Fathers are still being visited on the sons because of a tradition of silence. It's time to have the courage to break that silence and perhaps learn something as a man you have been denied: in exploring what a boy should know, a Dad might even learn something new about himself.
How nice that they have each other.
Oh, I remember using those to j/o!
Isn't that the truth? The tradition of silence is deafening.
It really is. So many don't have anyone to go to for this.
I don't know if it's a tradition so much as discussion of masturbation can be socially awkward. At best, it's outsourced to other older males, such as brothers and (for eldest boys like me) cousins, or even just male friends. Definitely a case for having male friends somewhat older than you, like a couple years. The challenge then, however, is to keep it a bullshit-free zone.
I started puberty early too, which makes things complicated. I did, however, get a couple years of orgasms without ejaculation.
My parents were, however, strict about pornography; they told me the girls were trafficked.
I grew up on a farm and before entering the house we shower on the barn and talk boys stuff with dad and Penthouse collection. Boys being boys.
I've heard things are much different when growing up on a farm where nature is always right there in front of you, and it eases the discussions.
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