"Last week i read your comment on another blog about people thinking sex is dirty and bad and yet those same people will then ask their children when they are going to get busy and give them grandkids. My own father is guiilty as fuck when it comes to that. Never mentioned a thing our bodies other than playing with yourself is nasty. Now, three years into my marriage he and and my mom are asking when I'm going to get busy using my dick so they can have grandkids. Can someone explain this?"
My grandfather asked me once when wife #1 and I were going to start a family. I responded I didn't know. He then asked if I knew what to do with it, and said, "Sit on my lap, I'll explain it to you." Well, that was a little creepy to say the least.
Though my in-laws certainly have. "When are you two gonna get busy?" seemed to be my father-in-law's favorite question. Even though he refused to talk to his sons about sex or masturbation. It's a conundrum, though, isn't it? Let's pretend that our son's cocks aren't hard and raring to go...
Any hypotheses, Readers?
25 comments:
The only thing I took away from this was the beatings you got for jacking off. Horrible!
I may be an exception, but I have learned it all by myself, without any advice or conversation from anyone.
I have nothing except it's pure selfishness. It should be up to the coupe to have kids when and if they even want them.
All this sillyness about sex being «dirty» stuff is coming from old religious beliefs which here in Canada is from the beginning of the 20th century and before.
I remember some, not all, Catholic people doing sex by a hole in bedsheet not to see the other naked.
Since those dark days we evolved and as sexe is a very natural thing in life it's no more a question here.
What my mother did faced after giving me birth in 1950 was the parish priest urging her to become pregnant sooner after and if she wouldn't she would be refused to have confession and communion.
Have to tell you that I was born my butt first, folded and my mother suffered alot about this birth and the doctor said to her not to be pregnant immediatly.
My mother could have his confession and communion back because my grand mother, who was some of a lady in the parish, did go to see that priest and gave him some «shit» so that priest never bother my mom anymore.
It's all about religious non sense.
Hypocrisy and shame.
A deadly combo.
XOXO
The answer about having the "talk" with either parent, I interrupted my mother and said I already knew everything. L O L that was of course when I was a teenager and didn't have a clue! But I also think it was because it was so embarrassing to talk to your parents about sex. And thanks to Pat, I am still learning!
There seems a lot more pressure to get married than to have grandchildren. Now folks more than ever have choices about both. Folks are doing both much much later than they used to, and maybe that's what's got all the parents expediting. Hugh and bisous!
I grew up in an evangelical household in rural Texas. I wasn't taught sex was dirty. I was taught that sex was only to be between a man and a woman who are married (to each other). I was however taught that masturbation is dirty. I should only touch my penis long enough to pee or wash it while taking a bath or shower. If I got an erection I was to ignore it and it would go away. Needless to say I discovered the joys of masturbation on my own but took great care not to ever get caught. And yes, I jerked off on sleepovers with several male friends who I went to church with. In fact, one time I got a guided jerk-off session from the older brother of a church buddy. He wanted to make sure I knew about masturbation and that there was more than one way to jerk-off. I'm forever grateful to him.
@ Rick - It was horrible. 'Course those beatings happened for plenty of other ridiculous reasons, as well.
@ JiEL - Oh the Catholic Church was all over women to remain "barefoot and pregnant" as the old saying went. Make more babies for the church to bring more money to the church is really what is was all about. Brava! to your grandmother for sticking up for your mother! She most likely saved her life.
@ Six - Right??? XOXO
@ Jean - You may have hit that proverbial nail. Later than usual marriages are the norm now - as are later than usual families. Hugs and bisous.
@ Tex - Nice, though, that you had that friend's older brother as a mentor, regardless of how short term is was.
Well, along with wanting grandchildren from my dick, my dad also thought that if I JUST got MARRIED to a WOMAN, ANY WOMAN, I wouldn't be gay. Oh well, dad.
I DID get married, but my wife has a cock. And a big one at that.
I did have a girlfriend back in the day, and we fucked a lot (I usually had to be drunk and I fantasized a LOT about guys in our social circle). We did have a couple of "Oop's!" false pregnancies, and I must say that, in my mid-20's, I felt ready to be a Papa. Now that I'm 60, cannot stand being around spawn or their parents.
It has been said that the only reason people think sex is dirty is because God routed a sanitary sewer through a recreational area.
I'm another more-or-less self taught. Of course, I don't think dad would have taught me about some of the things I learned! (:
--PaulMmn
Why are these guys even entertaining these comments? They should ask the questioner when was the last time he and his wife had sex? That should cool the conversation and stop the fifth degree, eh?
What IS important here and unspoken, are these guys going to repeat the sins of their fathers? That's what needs to be addressed.
My two cents.
Once you're married, you're in the club. That's why gay folk wanted in. We wanted in the club.
Definitely uptight christian programming. I thought it was odd that after I started to masturbate the summer of my 10th year, and it became an important part of my teen years, the liberal Presbyterian church I was taken to had absolutely nothing to say about my cock or my growing crushes on boys. I eventually figured out that I was right and the church was wrong, but it took a lot longer than it might have, since I didn't come out until my 30's. Eventually found out that my dad was gay and had been hiding it for most of his life. He didn't want me to have the problems it created for him, but my mom understood.
So my theory is that sexual urges are very powerful motivators, causing us to lose control at times, and to not be controllable by religion, and that explains the effort to restrict sex to procreation.
@ Rad - I think a LOT of gay men back in the day had the same experience. Thank goodness orientation is more accepted not.
@ Anon - Sadly, the sin is repeated generation after generation. It's terrible. Parents can be pretty stupid....
@ upton - It's not all it's cracked up to be. 😐
@ fullmoonma - religion has a habit of making us feel bad about things that feel good.
@whkattk,
Here in French speaking Province de Québec Catholic at 99% it wasn't to make more money that the church ask women to get pregnant as often as possible but it was to maintain the French population as we are so small in a huge English North America including the rest of Canada.
It wasn't unusual to see in the 20th century families with 12 children.
In the family of my ex mother in law from French New Brunswich, they were 18 children.
So money wasn't the main goal but more making sure that French language would not be assimilate to English one.
2022 and we are still stuggling to keep our French language but in some other ways.
Interesting topic and something that I had not thought of before in how parents talk about sex with you after getting married and them wanting you to start a family for those grandbabies. Time to use that dick! LOL!
Throw it right back in their face with a question to them "When are you going to tell your wife about your girlfriend/boyfriend" or some random name and watch them squirm.
They wont ask again. Make things awkward for them.
I think a lot of the hesitance was the time period. My father never talked to me about sex at all, and mom rarely mentioned it. I pretty much learned on my own, from friends, and sex ed in school. Needless to say, it took years to get over the stigma that sex is dirty and nudity is wrong. I am 70 years old and comfortable with who I am and not body-shy (except the laughter sometimes gets annoying). I was married for 34 years and my wife was aware of my ‘proclivities’. We were happy together until her passing. My parents never pushed any of us for grandkids, though my ugly brother (I’m a twin) and one sister do have children.
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